Mar. 28th, 2017

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Sir Derek Jules Gaspard Ulric Niven van den Bogaerde, known as Dirk Bogarde, was an English actor and writer. Initially a matinée idol in films such as Doctor in the House for the Rank Organisation, he later acted in art-house films.
Born: March 28, 1921, West Hampstead, London, United Kingdom
Died: May 8, 1999, Chelsea, London, United Kingdom
Education: Chelsea College of Arts
University College School
Lived: Cobblestone House, Hascombe, Godalming GU8 4BT, UK (51.14153, -0.54976)
Le Haut Clermont, Chemin Du Haut Clermont, 06740 Châteauneuf-Grasse (43.6696, 6.96981)
2 Cadogan Gardens, SW3
44 Chester Square, SW1W
Buried: at his former estate, Le Haut Clermont, Châteauneuf de Grasse (ashes)
Find A Grave Memorial# 19424
Books: A Postillion Struck by Lightning, UC An Orderly Man, more
Albums: Lyrics For Lovers
Siblings: Gareth Van Den Bogaerde, Elizabeth Goodings

Sir Dirk Bogarde was an English actor and novelist. Anthony Forwood was an English actor. Initially a matinee idol, Bogarde later acted in art-house films like Death in Venice. Forwood married, and later divorced, actress Glynis Johns. Their only child was actor Gareth Forwood (1945–2007). Forwood lived with Dirk Bogarde in Amersham, England; then in France until shortly before Forwood's death in London in 1988. The actor John Fraser said that "Dirk's life with Forwood had been so respectable, their love for each other so profound and so enduring, it would have been a glorious day for the pursuit of understanding and the promotion of tolerance if he had screwed up the courage ... to make one dignified allusion to his true nature. Self-love is no substitute for self-respect.” Bogarde suffered a minor stroke in November 1987, at a time when Forwood was dying of liver cancer and Parkinson's disease. Bogarde was most vocal, towards the end of his life, on the issue of voluntary euthanasia, of which he became a staunch proponent after witnessing the protracted death of his lifelong partner in 1988. Bogarde died in London on May 8, 1999, age 78.

Together from 1940 to 1988: 48 years.
Ernest Lytton aka Anthony Forwood (October 3, 1915 – May 18, 1988)
Dirk Bogarde (March 28, 1921 - May 8, 1999)

Days of Love: Celebrating LGBT History One Story at a Time
ISBN-13: 978-1500563325 (CreateSpace-Assigned)
ISBN-10: 1500563323
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University College School, generally known as UCS Hampstead (11 Holly Hill, London NW3 6QN), is an independent day school in Hampstead, northwest London. The school was founded in 1830 by University College London and inherited many of that institution's progressive and secular views. According to the Good Schools Guide, the school "Achieves impressive exam results with a relaxed atmosphere". UCS aims to combine the highest standards of academic achievement and pastoral care with outstanding facilities for all-round education with a distinctive liberal ethos. University College School moved to its current location in Hampstead in 1907. Notable queer alumni and faculty: Dirk Bogarde (1921-1999), Frederic Leighton (1830–1896), Stephen Spender (1909–1995), Thom Gunn (1929-2004).

Queer Places, Vol. 2.1: Retracing the Steps of LGBTQ people around the World
ISBN-13: 978-1532906312 (CreateSpace-Assigned)
ISBN-10: 1532906315
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School: Chelsea College of Arts (16 John Islip St, Westminster, London SW1P 4JU) is a constituent college of the University of the Arts London based in London, and is a leading British art and design institution with an international reputation. The School of Art merged with the Hammersmith School of Art, founded by Francis Hawke, to form the Chelsea School of Art in 1908. The newly formed school was taken over by the London County Council and a new building erected at Lime Grove, which opened with an extended curriculum. A trade school for girls was erected on the same site in 1914. The school acquired premises at Great Titchfield Street, and was jointly accommodated with Quintin Hogg's Polytechnic in Regent Street (a forerunner of the University of Westminster). The campus at Manresa Road introduced painting and graphic design in 1963, with both disciplines being particularly successful. Notable queer alumni and faculty: Barbara Ker-Seymer (1905-1993), Dirk Bogarde (1921-1999), Edward Burra (1905-1976), William Chappell (1907-1994).

Queer Places, Vol. 2.1: Retracing the Steps of LGBTQ people around the World
ISBN-13: 978-1532906312 (CreateSpace-Assigned)
ISBN-10: 1532906315
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House: Dirk Bogarde purchased the large farmhouse Cobblestone House (formerly Nore House) at Hascombe, near Godalming in 1962. He lived there with his partner and manager, Anthony Forwood, until 1971.

Address: Bramley, Surrey GU8 4BT, UK (51.14153, -0.54976)
English Heritage Building ID: 291246 (Grade II, 1960)

Place
Built in XVII century with XIX and XX century additions to right.
Timber framed, clad in whitewashed and rendered brick below, tile hung above, some in diamond pattern, with sandstone rubble and brick extensions to right, all under plain tiled roofs, some hipped and half-hipped. Two storeys with end stack to left and offset square end stack to right; square ridge stack to right of centre dated 1750 on top. Four leaded casements to first floor and three larger leaded casements to ground floor. Panelled door to right of centre. Wings at right angles to rear. Dormered extensions to right, once a barn converted in circa 1900 of no especial architectural interest, although it was formerly the home of Brian Howard. Dirk Bogarde entertained several of his Hollywood co-stars at Nore. Among them was Ingrid Bergman, who came to stay for six weeks in 1965 while she was playing “A Month in the Country,” the first production at the newly opened Yvonne Arnaud Theatre in Guildford. He wrote of her in his autobiography that she “was constantly amused by my evening walk down to the vegetable gardens to pick the mint for supper”. Screen legend Judy Garland also came to Nore, in 1963, to show Bogarde a script of her semi-autobiographical film “I Could Go On Singing.” After filming “Death in Venice” in 1971, Bogarde moved to West Sussex and then France; Nore estate was sold and subsequently divided up. Bogarde describes leaving Cobblestone House in his biography “Snakes and Ladders” (1978): “…The removal vans trundled slowly down the long drive in a flurry of sleet and snow-showers, leaving the house empty, bare and strangely silent after the long racketing week of packing and crating-up of one’s life.”…

Life
Who: Sir Derek Jules Gaspard Ulric Niven van den Bogaerde (March 28, 1921 – May 8, 1999) aka Dirk Bogarde
Of all Dirk Bogarde's houses in the fifties and sixties, Nore was the finest. Reached by a long private drive through woodland, and much more secluded than Drummers Yard had been, it was officially described as “a large, three-bay continuous jetty house of two storeys and attics”, a yeoman's house, dating in large part from the late XVI century. It stood in about ten acres, with breathtaking views across the Surrey countryside towards the South Downs. It had ten bedrooms, eight bathrooms and six reception rooms, two cottages, a separate studio, a tennis court, a garage block and four pools, “two for water-lilies, one for ducks and one for humans”. There was also a contractual right to a free daily supply of 500 gallons of water. Above all, there were extensive gardens. In the twenties and early thirties Nore had been home to the parents of Brian Howard, the American-born, Eton-educated poet, wit, aesthete, homosexual, “charismatic failure” and “the oddest aircraftman since T. E. Shaw”. He was dark and handsome, had a Machiavellian streak and was “quasi-sadistic mentally, quasi-masochistic physically”; he also had “pity and compassion for all human suffering, he loved the beauties of nature, literature and the arts”, and according to Evelyn Waugh was “mad, bad and dangerous to know”. A great platonic love of his was Daphne Fielding, and although she never saw him at Nore, when she went to stay with Dirk and Tony (Anthony Forwood), she “was conscious of Brian all the time, and his own very particular atmosphere seemed to dominate even Dirk's.” Which was indeed saying something. Howard's parents had rented Nore from Robert Godwin-Austen, a descendant of the topographer who “discovered” the Himalayan peak now known as K2, and whose travels yielded a miniature temple, with a “lion-dog” at each of the four corners, which Dirk found, buried in brambles, and with “a rather curious, and very detailed, phallic symbol standing erect in the very center! So I am not absolutely certain that it was only spirits who went there to worship.”

Queer Places, Vol. 2.1: Retracing the Steps of LGBTQ people around the World
ISBN-13: 978-1532906312 (CreateSpace-Assigned)
ISBN-10: 1532906315
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House: Sir Dirk Bogarde (1921-1999) was a matinee idol in over 60 films such as “Doctor in the House” (1954). After he lost his appetite for theatre and film he turned to writing and wrote seven candid volumes of autobiography and five novels. In 1947 at the start of his film career he signed a major deal with Rank paying him 35 a week retainer until he started work for them. The chap whose flat he was staying in returned after his tour folded early, so he had to move out. Dirk went to Willett's in Sloane Square and came out with the key to 44 Chester Square, SW1W 9EA, then a shabby 5 storey furnished georgian townhouse for 10 a week. The garden had 2 huge lime trees and a bomb crater. His friend Nannette Baildon from his RAF days in Calcutta came to live here and look after him. Dirk began to throw some wilder and wilder parties culminating in a massive New Year's Eve party for 1949/50 resulting in a massive row with Nannette. She moved out a year later, after 3 years and took the Bogarde’s cat with her.

Queer Places, Vol. 2.1: Retracing the Steps of LGBTQ people around the World
ISBN-13: 978-1532906312 (CreateSpace-Assigned)
ISBN-10: 1532906315
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House: Cadogan Square is a residential square in Knightsbridge, west London, that was named after Earl Cadogan. Whilst it is mainly a residential area, some of the properties are used for diplomatic and educational purposes. The square is known for being one of the most expensive residential streets in the United Kingdom, with an average house price of around £5.75 million in 2013.

Address: Cadogan Gardens, Chelsea, London SW3 2RJ, UK

Place
The square was built between 1877 and 1888. The west side has the greatest variety of houses, all variations on the same Flemish-influenced theme. Numbers 54-58 were designed by William Young in 1877 for Lord Cadogan, and the architect J. J. Stevenson was largely responsible for the south side, built in 1879-85. The east side was built in 1879 by G. T. Robinson. Number 61 is an early example of high-class mansion flats, and number 61A was once a studio-house for a Mr F. W. Lawson. Cadogan Square is one of the most desirable residential addresses in London and is one of the most expensive in the United Kingdom. It is formed of a garden (restricted to residents) surrounded by red-brick houses, the majority of which have been converted into flats or apartments. The square is south of Pont Street, east of Lennox Gardens, and west of Sloane Street. An independent preparatory school for boys, Sussex House School, at number 68, was founded in 1953. The school is sited in a house by architect Norman Shaw. Apartments or flats tend to be available on short leases and are sold for several million pounds. There are three or so houses on the square that have not been converted into flats, and these may be valued at over £25 million each. The freeholder of most of the properties is Earl Cadogan, a multi-billionaire whose family has owned the land for several hundred years. Numbers 4 (by G.E Street), 52, 62 and 62b, 68 and 72 are all Grade II listed buildings. Writer Arnold Bennet lived at number 75 during the 1920s. On 2July 5, 1899, at Holy Trinity Church, Sloane Street, Cadogan Square, in London, Adolph de Meyer married Donna Olga Caracciolo, an Italian noblewoman who had been divorced earlier that year from Nobile Marino Brancaccio; she was a goddaughter of Edward VII.

Notable queer residents at Cadogan Gardens:
• Natalie Clifford Barney (1876-1972), US born one-time lover of Oscar Wilde’s niece, Dolly Wilde, and origin of the character Valerie Seymour in “The Well of Loneliness,” lived at 97 Cadogan Gardens, Chelsea, London SW3 2RE, in the 1920s.
• Edward Sackville-West (1901-1965) was born at 105 Cadogan Gardens, Chelsea, London SW3 2RF, the elder child and only son of Major-General Charles John Sackville-West, who later became the fourth Baron Sackville, and his first wife, Maud Cecilia, née Bell (1873–1920.)
• From 1898 to 1913 Adolph de Meyer (1868-1946) lived in fashionable 1 Cadogan Gardens, Chelsea, London SW3 2RJ, and between 1903 and 1907 his work was published in Alfred Stieglitz’s quarterly Camera Work.
• Sir Dirk Bogarde (1921-1999) lived from 1991 to 1999 and died at 2 Cadogan Gardens, Chelsea, London SW3 2RS.
• In 1907 at the Homburg spa in Germany, Radclyffe Hall (1880-1943) met Mabel Batten (1856-1916), a well-known amateur singer of lieder. Batten (nicknamed "Ladye") was 51 to Hall's 27, and was married with an adult daughter and grandchildren. They fell in love, and after Batten's husband died they set up residence together at 59 Cadogan Square, Chelsea, London SW1X 0HZ. Batten gave Hall the nickname John, which she used the rest of her life. In 1915 Hall fell in love with Mabel Batten's cousin Una Troubridge (1887–1963), a sculptor who was the wife of Vice-Admiral Ernest Troubridge, and the mother of a young daughter. Batten died the following year, and in 1917 Radclyffe Hall and Una Troubridge began living together at 22 Cadogan Court, Draycott Ave, Chelsea, London SW3 3AA, a move Radclyffe originally planned to do with Mabel Batten. The relationship would last until Hall's death.
• On April 5, 1895, Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) was arrested in room 118 of the upscale Edwardian Cadogan Hotel (now Belmond Cadogan Hotel, 75 Sloane St, London SW1X 9SG) on a charge of "gross indecency" stemming from his homosexual relationship with Lord Alfred Douglas. Friends had urged Wilde to flee the country once word of his impending arrest leaked out, but Wilde was resolute, saying, "I shall stay and do my sentence, whatever it is." The poet-dramatist was sentenced to two years imprisonment with hard labor, a cruel punishment that was to signal the beginning of the end for Wilde's brightly shining star. The arrest was immortalized by English poet laureate, John Betjeman, in his poem "The Arrest of Oscar Wilde at the Cadogan Hotel."

Life
Who: Baron Adolph de Meyer (September 1, 1868 – January 6, 1946) and Olga, the Baroness de Meyer (August 8, 1871 – 1930/1931)
Baron Adolph de Meyer was a photographer famed for his elegant photographic portraits in the early XX century, many of which depicted celebrities such as Mary Pickford, Rita Lydig, Luisa Casati, Billie Burke, Irene Castle, John Barrymore, Lillian Gish, Ruth St. Denis, King George V of the United Kingdom, and Queen Mary. He was also the first official fashion photographer for the American magazine Vogue, appointed to that position in 1913. In 1899 he married Donna Olga Caracciolo. The couple reportedly met in 1897, at the home of a member of the Sassoon banking family, and Olga would be the subject of many of her husband’s photographs. The de Meyers’ marriage was one of marriage of convenience rather than romantic love, since the groom was homosexual and the bride was bisexual or lesbian. As Baron de Meyer wrote in an unpublished autobiographical novel, before they wed, he explained to Olga "the real meaning of love shorn of any kind of sensuality.” He continued by observing, "Marriage based too much on love and unrestrained passion has rarely a chance to be lasting, whilst perfect understanding and companionship, on the contrary, generally make the most durable union." The de Meyers were characterised by Violet Trefusis—who counted Olga among her lovers and whose mother, Alice Keppel, was Edward VII’s best known mistress—as "Pederaste and Médisante" because, as Trefusis observed, "He looked so queer and she had such a vicious tongue." Among Olga’s affairs was one with Winnaretta, Princess Edmond de Polignac, the Singer sewing machine heiress and arts patron, in the years 1901–05. Cecil Beaton dubbed Adolph de Maeye "the Debussy of photography.” In 1912 he photographed Nijinsky in Paris. After the death of his wife in 1930/31, Baron de Meyer became romantically involved with a young German, Ernest Frohlich (born circa 1914), whom he hired as his chauffeur and later adopted as his son. The latter went by the name Baron Ernest Frohlich de Meyer.

Queer Places, Vol. 2.1: Retracing the Steps of LGBTQ people around the World
ISBN-13: 978-1532906312 (CreateSpace-Assigned)
ISBN-10: 1532906315
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House: After 18 years as Rank’s biggest in-house star, feeling that he was not fully appreciated as an actor, Dirk Bogarde first kicked against the traces by playing a homosexual in the watershed film “Victim,” before upping sticks and removing himself and his lifelong companion, Anthony Forwood, to Europe. They eventually bought Le Haut Clermont, a former farmhouse, in Chateauneuf de Grasse and Dirk spent his happiest years there before Forwood’s last illness dictated a return to England. To the new owners Dirk wrote: ‘Please don’t send me any more photographs. Every time I see Clermont it breaks my heart.’

Address: Chemin Du Haut Clermont, 06740 Châteauneuf-Grasse (43.6696, 6.96981)

Place
Châteauneuf-Grasse (also known as Châteauneuf de Grasse or simply Châteauneuf) is a commune in the Alpes-Maritimes department in southeastern France. Châteauneuf is situated on the French Riviera, just over 4 km from Grasse and 21 km (13 mi) from Cannes and borders the villages of Plascassier and Opio. Châteauneuf extends across 895 hectares and has a population of just over 3,000 inhabitants. It is divided into two districts: Pré-du-Lac, where most of the commerce is found, and Le Vignal.

Life
Who: Sir Derek Jules Gaspard Ulric Niven van den Bogaerde (March 28, 1921 – May 8, 1999), aka Dirk Bogarde, and Ernest Lytton Forwood (October 3, 1915 – May 18, 1988), aka Anthony Forwood
Dirk Bogarde was an English actor and writer. Initially a matinée idol in films such as “Doctor in the House” (1954) for the Rank Organisation, he later acted in art-house films. In a second career, he wrote seven best-selling volumes of memoirs, six novels and a volume of collected journalism, mainly from articles in The Daily Telegraph. Bogarde was a lifelong bachelor. For many years he shared his homes, first in Amersham, Buckinghamshire, then in France, with his manager Anthony Forwood, who was the former husband of actress Glynis Johns and the father of their only child, actor Gareth Forwood. Bogarde repeatedly denied that their relationship was anything but platonic. Such denials were understandable, mainly because male homosexual acts were criminal during most of his career, and could lead to prosecution and imprisonment. Rank Studio contracts included morality clauses, which provided for termination of the contract in the event of 'immoral' conduct on the part of the actor. This would have included same-sex relationships, thus potentially putting the actor's career in jeopardy. It is possible that Bogarde's refusal to enter into a marriage of convenience was a major reason for his failure to become a star in Hollywood, together with the critical and commercial failure of “Song Without End.” His friend Helena Bonham Carter believed Bogarde would not have been able to come out during later life, since this might have demonstrated that he had been forced to camouflage his sexual orientation during his film career. The actor John Fraser, however, said that "Dirk's life with Forwood had been so respectable, their love for each other so profound and so enduring, it would have been a glorious day for the pursuit of understanding and the promotion of tolerance if he had screwed up the courage..." Bogarde suffered a minor stroke in November 1987, at a time when his partner, Anthony Forwood, was dying of liver cancer and Parkinson's disease. In September 1996, he underwent angioplasty to unblock arteries leading to his heart and suffered a massive stroke following the operation. Bogarde was paralysed on one side of his body, which affected his speech and left him in a wheelchair. He managed, however, to complete a final volume of his autobiography, which covered the stroke and its effects as well as an edition of his collected journalism, mainly for the Daily Telegraph. He spent some time the day before he died with his friend Lauren Bacall. Bogarde died at home in London from a heart attack on May 8, 1999, age 78. His ashes were scattered at his former estate in Grasse, Southern France.

Queer Places, Vol. 3.1: Retracing the Steps of LGBTQ people around the World
ISBN-13: 978-1532906695 (CreateSpace-Assigned)
ISBN-10: 1532906692
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Anniversary: July 27, 1996
Married: March 28, 2014 

Wade Rouse is a bestselling author and humorist. Described as the lovechild of David Sedaris and Erma Bombeck, "wise, witty and wicked" by USA Today and the #2 Writer, Dead or Alive, “We'd Love to Have Drinks With” by Writer's Digest (between Hemingway and Hunter S. Thompson), Wade is the author of four memoirs, including America’s Boy (Dutton/2006), named to the American Library Association’s “Rainbow List” of the most important LGBT books; Confessions of A Prep School Mommy Handler (Harmony/2007), selected as a Breakout Book by Target; At Least in the City Someone Would Hear Me Scream (Harmony/2009), a Today show Must-Read; and It’s All Relative: 2 Families, 3 Dogs, 34 Holidays and 50 Boxes of Wine (Crown/2011), finalist for a 2011 Goodreads Choice Award in Humor (with Betty White, Mindy Kaling and Chelsea Handler). Wade earned his B.A. in communications, with honors, from Drury University and his master’s in journalism from Northwestern University. He is a contributing writer and essayist for People.com, Coastal Living, Metrosource and Michigan Radio as well as a popular lecturer and writing teacher. Gary Edwards is the marketing and event manager for Wade Rouse. Wade, Gary and their rescue mutts, Mabel and Doris, split their time between the beaches, woods and water of Saugatuck, Michigan, and the sun, desert and mountains of Palm Springs.

How We Met: Gary and I met, purely by chance, in a coffeehouse in St. Louis, before coffee was hot and technology was commonplace. Ironically, we might never have met had current technology been around back then. Gary was waiting catch up with a friend returning from vacation, a friend who could not call Gary to let him know his flight home had been delayed because no one had cell phones then, or laptops.
I had come to catch up with a friend over a latte, when – after an hour – Gary, who is more social than a rodeo clown, approached and asked if he could join us while he waited.
If you believe in love at first sight, then this was love at first glimpse. Gary was the handsomest man I had ever seen, all dark hair and skin and lashes.
"You have the prettiest eyes," he said to me, before covering his face with his hands. "Don't look at me! I just drove 14 hours home from a family vacation. I must look a mess. But at least I'm tan!”
"How can I tell?" I asked. "Your face is covered.”
We laughed. And we have not stopped since.
What would have happened had Gary’s friend called from his cell?
My life would be entirely different. It would not just be empty; it would never have fully started.

How We Married: I received the best birthday gift of my life in 2014: Gary and I were married.
As with most things in our lives, it happened with the shocking suddenness of a thunderbolt. And, as with most huge moments in my life, it happened while I was on a treadmill.
"We're getting married on Friday," Gary said when I picked up the phone, my legs churning beneath me.
"Who is this?" I asked.
"Screw Michigan!" he said. "I'm not waiting another second for anyone to decide when it's right for us to marry."
In the previous days, a judge had overturned Michigan's ban on gay marriage. Dear friends of ours had rushed out on a Saturday to marry. By Monday, the attorney general had challenged the ruling, and a stay had been put on marriage.
Our hearts were crushed. We had planned to marry on our anniversary date of July 27. We wanted to wed amidst Gary's beautiful gardens in front of our beautiful friends. Gary had already begun the planning.
But our dream had been taken away.
Momentarily.
"We're here now, in California," Gary said, knocking me back into the present. "I called the courthouse. They have a little chapel attached. They have an opening Friday ..."
He stopped. I could hear him softly crying.
I hit "stop" on the treadmill.
"Let's do it!" I said. "You're right. It's time."
Gary arranged for good friends to serve as witnesses, and another friend volunteered to photograph it. Gary made boutonnieres for us, color-coordinated them with our shirts and ties, and on the morning of March 28, we walked into a county clerk's office, signed a sheath of papers, attested we were who we were, paid our fees and waited to be married, along with a gaggle of other, very young, couples.
I could not help but think: This was not anything like the dream wedding we had dreamed of.
But then, magic began to unfold.
A beautiful woman, whose cousin had just gotten married before us, ran over when she saw us waiting.
"Are you getting married?" she screamed.
We nodded.
She dissolved into tears. "I'm so happy for you," she said, bawling, pulling us into her arms and holding us tightly. "How long have you been together?"
"18 years," we replied at the same time.
Her face melted, and she heaved with sobs. "My brother and his partner have been together nine years," she said, nodding over at a handsome couple. "I want him to marry next."
She stopped.
"It's love and commitment like yours, and his, that are my shining examples. I strive to have a relationship as beautiful as yours."
And now it was us who began to tear up.
What she gets that most people don't seem to realize, I thought as she walked away waving, was that the gay couples "rushing" to marry have been together five years, 10 years, 25 years, 50 years. We have already committed our lives to one another.
We were ushered into the "chapel," a sort of holding room filled with the type of furniture you might have seen on "Three's Company." A wooden, lattice-y altar filled a wall, some plastic ivy strewn through it, fake flowers sprinkled around the room. An empty Kleenex box sat atop a vent.
Gary winced. "Why don't they paint this white?" he asked, touching the altar. "And get some real plants? And ..."
He stopped. "It's perfect," I said. "It doesn't matter."
The woman who was to marry us bolted into the room and introduced herself. "How long have you been together?" she asked.
"18 years," we replied again at the same time.
She began to cry.
"When California approved gay marriage," she whispered, her voice heavy with emotion, "I sprinted here to volunteer. I wanted to be part of moments like this. Each is so historic. Each is so beautiful. I wanted to be part of a love that will forever change our world, for the better."
And then she took our hands, and then placed them in each others', and she began the ceremony.
It was then I knew this was a dream wedding, because I never dreamed this would ever be possible for me. I never dreamed I could marry, hear these vows, repeat these vows, have my relationship acknowledged by the government as the same as every other.
As the ceremony unfolded, I could not help but think of my life and relationship with Gary, similar in so many ways. Gary and I grew up in small towns in Middle America. Haunted by our sexuality, we relinquished our youth, unable to date, unable to share our true selves with our families and friends. Gary drank and I ate, until we finally found one another.
At the risk of sounding overly dramatic, we not only fought like hell to find one another – the perfect love – we fought like hell to survive until we did. Our love likely saved each other's lives.
Suddenly, my emotions overtook me: This was not only a dream, it was historic.
"Do you have vows you would like to read?" the judge asked.
"Yes," I said, pulling a sheet of paper from my pocket, shocking Gary.
"What are you doing?" he mouthed.
"Marrying you," I whispered.
And then I began to read:
"Gary, it's not that my life hadn't begun before I met you; it's as if it had never started. You brought my life to Wizard of Oz technicolor. You not only taught me how to love another unconditionally, you taught me how to love myself unconditionally.
You are my compass and my bridge, my shadow and mirror, gardener of flowers and my soul. I would not be here, literally and figuratively, without you.
I love you more than anything in this world, and I am so honored to take you as my husband.
Forever."
As she began to recite the vows, our voices went from quivery, to shaky, to unstable. Tears flowed.
And when we said, "I do," my life and my future flashed before my eyes.
I was married. To the man I loved.
As the judge pronounced us husband and husband, we kissed.
Gary slipped me the tongue, which was totally inappropriate.
And then he whispered, "You cannot go and get this annulled, either."
That evening, we gathered with friends for an unforgettable dinner. They even surprised us with a wedding cake ... topped with lots of buttercream frosting.
As we crawled into bed for the first night as a married couple, it felt like it always had. But different, too.
Better.
Realer.
Happier.
Rawer.
Dreamier.
After 18 years, we were married. It was no longer a dream, no longer a fantasy, no longer illegal.
Our wedding, like our friends' weddings in Michigan and California, are not just weddings; they are the fulfillment of lifelong dreams. They acknowledge the power of love.
They are not just weddings, I realized, they are exclamation points to our lives and our love, to all of our lives and love. -Wade Rouse

Together since 1996: 19 years
Gary Edwards (born July 6, 1966) & Wade Rouse (born March 30, 1965)
Anniversary: July 27, 1996 / Married: March 28, 2014 

Days of Love: Celebrating LGBT History One Story at a Time
ISBN-13: 978-1500563325 (CreateSpace-Assigned)
ISBN-10: 1500563323
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Born: 1965, Granby, Missouri, United States
Nominations: Goodreads Choice Awards Best Humor
Anniversary: July 27, 1996
Married: March 28, 2014 

Wade Rouse is a bestselling author and humorist. Described as the lovechild of David Sedaris and Erma Bombeck, "wise, witty and wicked" by USA Today and the #2 Writer, Dead or Alive, “We'd Love to Have Drinks With” by Writer's Digest (between Hemingway and Hunter S. Thompson), Wade is the author of four memoirs, including America’s Boy (Dutton/2006), named to the American Library Association’s “Rainbow List” of the most important LGBT books; Confessions of A Prep School Mommy Handler (Harmony/2007), selected as a Breakout Book by Target; At Least in the City Someone Would Hear Me Scream (Harmony/2009), a Today show Must-Read; and It’s All Relative: 2 Families, 3 Dogs, 34 Holidays and 50 Boxes of Wine (Crown/2011), finalist for a 2011 Goodreads Choice Award in Humor (with Betty White, Mindy Kaling and Chelsea Handler). Wade earned his B.A. in communications, with honors, from Drury University and his master’s in journalism from Northwestern University. He is a contributing writer and essayist for People.com, Coastal Living, Metrosource and Michigan Radio as well as a popular lecturer and writing teacher. Gary Edwards is the marketing and event manager for Wade Rouse. Wade, Gary and their rescue mutts, Mabel and Doris, split their time between the beaches, woods and water of Saugatuck, Michigan, and the sun, desert and mountains of Palm Springs.

How We Met: Gary and I met, purely by chance, in a coffeehouse in St. Louis, before coffee was hot and technology was commonplace. Ironically, we might never have met had current technology been around back then. Gary was waiting catch up with a friend returning from vacation, a friend who could not call Gary to let him know his flight home had been delayed because no one had cell phones then, or laptops.
I had come to catch up with a friend over a latte, when – after an hour – Gary, who is more social than a rodeo clown, approached and asked if he could join us while he waited.
If you believe in love at first sight, then this was love at first glimpse. Gary was the handsomest man I had ever seen, all dark hair and skin and lashes.
"You have the prettiest eyes," he said to me, before covering his face with his hands. "Don't look at me! I just drove 14 hours home from a family vacation. I must look a mess. But at least I'm tan!”
"How can I tell?" I asked. "Your face is covered.”
We laughed. And we have not stopped since.
What would have happened had Gary’s friend called from his cell?
My life would be entirely different. It would not just be empty; it would never have fully started.

How We Married: I received the best birthday gift of my life in 2014: Gary and I were married.
As with most things in our lives, it happened with the shocking suddenness of a thunderbolt. And, as with most huge moments in my life, it happened while I was on a treadmill.
"We're getting married on Friday," Gary said when I picked up the phone, my legs churning beneath me.
"Who is this?" I asked.
"Screw Michigan!" he said. "I'm not waiting another second for anyone to decide when it's right for us to marry."
In the previous days, a judge had overturned Michigan's ban on gay marriage. Dear friends of ours had rushed out on a Saturday to marry. By Monday, the attorney general had challenged the ruling, and a stay had been put on marriage.
Our hearts were crushed. We had planned to marry on our anniversary date of July 27. We wanted to wed amidst Gary's beautiful gardens in front of our beautiful friends. Gary had already begun the planning.
But our dream had been taken away.
Momentarily.
"We're here now, in California," Gary said, knocking me back into the present. "I called the courthouse. They have a little chapel attached. They have an opening Friday ..."
He stopped. I could hear him softly crying.
I hit "stop" on the treadmill.
"Let's do it!" I said. "You're right. It's time."
Gary arranged for good friends to serve as witnesses, and another friend volunteered to photograph it. Gary made boutonnieres for us, color-coordinated them with our shirts and ties, and on the morning of March 28, we walked into a county clerk's office, signed a sheath of papers, attested we were who we were, paid our fees and waited to be married, along with a gaggle of other, very young, couples.
I could not help but think: This was not anything like the dream wedding we had dreamed of.
But then, magic began to unfold.
A beautiful woman, whose cousin had just gotten married before us, ran over when she saw us waiting.
"Are you getting married?" she screamed.
We nodded.
She dissolved into tears. "I'm so happy for you," she said, bawling, pulling us into her arms and holding us tightly. "How long have you been together?"
"18 years," we replied at the same time.
Her face melted, and she heaved with sobs. "My brother and his partner have been together nine years," she said, nodding over at a handsome couple. "I want him to marry next."
She stopped.
"It's love and commitment like yours, and his, that are my shining examples. I strive to have a relationship as beautiful as yours."
And now it was us who began to tear up.
What she gets that most people don't seem to realize, I thought as she walked away waving, was that the gay couples "rushing" to marry have been together five years, 10 years, 25 years, 50 years. We have already committed our lives to one another.
We were ushered into the "chapel," a sort of holding room filled with the type of furniture you might have seen on "Three's Company." A wooden, lattice-y altar filled a wall, some plastic ivy strewn through it, fake flowers sprinkled around the room. An empty Kleenex box sat atop a vent.
Gary winced. "Why don't they paint this white?" he asked, touching the altar. "And get some real plants? And ..."
He stopped. "It's perfect," I said. "It doesn't matter."
The woman who was to marry us bolted into the room and introduced herself. "How long have you been together?" she asked.
"18 years," we replied again at the same time.
She began to cry.
"When California approved gay marriage," she whispered, her voice heavy with emotion, "I sprinted here to volunteer. I wanted to be part of moments like this. Each is so historic. Each is so beautiful. I wanted to be part of a love that will forever change our world, for the better."
And then she took our hands, and then placed them in each others', and she began the ceremony.
It was then I knew this was a dream wedding, because I never dreamed this would ever be possible for me. I never dreamed I could marry, hear these vows, repeat these vows, have my relationship acknowledged by the government as the same as every other.
As the ceremony unfolded, I could not help but think of my life and relationship with Gary, similar in so many ways. Gary and I grew up in small towns in Middle America. Haunted by our sexuality, we relinquished our youth, unable to date, unable to share our true selves with our families and friends. Gary drank and I ate, until we finally found one another.
At the risk of sounding overly dramatic, we not only fought like hell to find one another – the perfect love – we fought like hell to survive until we did. Our love likely saved each other's lives.
Suddenly, my emotions overtook me: This was not only a dream, it was historic.
"Do you have vows you would like to read?" the judge asked.
"Yes," I said, pulling a sheet of paper from my pocket, shocking Gary.
"What are you doing?" he mouthed.
"Marrying you," I whispered.
And then I began to read:
"Gary, it's not that my life hadn't begun before I met you; it's as if it had never started. You brought my life to Wizard of Oz technicolor. You not only taught me how to love another unconditionally, you taught me how to love myself unconditionally.
You are my compass and my bridge, my shadow and mirror, gardener of flowers and my soul. I would not be here, literally and figuratively, without you.
I love you more than anything in this world, and I am so honored to take you as my husband.
Forever."
As she began to recite the vows, our voices went from quivery, to shaky, to unstable. Tears flowed.
And when we said, "I do," my life and my future flashed before my eyes.
I was married. To the man I loved.
As the judge pronounced us husband and husband, we kissed.
Gary slipped me the tongue, which was totally inappropriate.
And then he whispered, "You cannot go and get this annulled, either."
That evening, we gathered with friends for an unforgettable dinner. They even surprised us with a wedding cake ... topped with lots of buttercream frosting.
As we crawled into bed for the first night as a married couple, it felt like it always had. But different, too.
Better.
Realer.
Happier.
Rawer.
Dreamier.
After 18 years, we were married. It was no longer a dream, no longer a fantasy, no longer illegal.
Our wedding, like our friends' weddings in Michigan and California, are not just weddings; they are the fulfillment of lifelong dreams. They acknowledge the power of love.
They are not just weddings, I realized, they are exclamation points to our lives and our love, to all of our lives and love. -Wade Rouse

Together since 1996: 19 years
Gary Edwards (born July 6, 1966) & Wade Rouse (born March 30, 1965)
Anniversary: July 27, 1996 / Married: March 28, 2014 

Days of Love: Celebrating LGBT History One Story at a Time
ISBN-13: 978-1500563325 (CreateSpace-Assigned)
ISBN-10: 1500563323
CreateSpace eStore: https://www.createspace.com/4910282
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Jane Vance Rule, CM, OBC was a Canadian writer of lesbian-themed novels and non-fiction.
Born: March 28, 1931, Plainfield, New Jersey, United States
Died: November 27, 2007, Galiano Island, Canada
Education: Mills College
Buried: Galiano Island Cemetery, Galiano Island, Capital Regional District, British Columbia, Canada
Buried alongside: Helen Sonthoff
Find A Grave Memorial# 23188687
Movies: Desert Hearts
Parents: Arthur Richards Rule, Carlotta Jane

Jane Vance Rule, CM, OBC was a Canadian writer of lesbian-themed novels and non-fiction. Rule studied at Mills College in California. She graduated in 1952, moved to England for a short while and entered in a relationship with critic John Hulcoop. She taught at Concord Academy in Massachusetts where she met Helen Sonthoff and fell in love with her. Rule moved with Hulcoop to work at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver in 1956, but Sonthoff visited her and they began to live together until Sonthoff's death in 2000. Rule died in 2007 at her home on Galiano Island due to complications from liver cancer, refusing any treatment that would take her from the island, opting instead for the care and support that could be provided by her niece, her partner, her many Galiano friends and neighbors. The ashes of Jane Vance Rule were interred in the Galiano Island Cemetery next to those of her beloved Helen. In 1964, Rule published Desert of the Heart: the novel featured two women who fall in love with each other; Donna Deitch (1985) later made it into a movie, which quickly became a lesbian classic.

Together from 1954 to 2000: 46 years.
Helen Hubbard Wolfe Sonthoff (September 11, 1916 - January 3, 2000)
Jane Vance Rule (March 28, 1931 – November 27, 2007)

Days of Love: Celebrating LGBT History One Story at a Time
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ISBN-10: 1500563323
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School: Mills College (5000 MacArthur Blvd, Oakland, CA 94613) is a liberal arts and sciences college located in the San Francisco Bay Area. Mills was founded as the Young Ladies Seminary in 1852 in Benicia, California. The school was relocated to Oakland, California, in 1871, and became the first women's college west of the Rockies. Designed in 1869 by S. C. Bugbee & Son, Mills Hall became the College's new home when it moved from Benicia to Oakland in 1871 (National Register of Historic Places: 71000132, 1971). Mills Hall is "a long, four-story building with a high central observatory. The mansarded structure, which provided homes for faculty and students as well as classrooms and dining halls, long was considered the most beautiful educational building in the state". Notable queer alumni and faculty: Jane Rule (1931–2007); John Cage (1912–1992).

Queer Places, Vol. 1.1: Retracing the Steps of LGBTQ people around the World
ISBN-13: 978-1532901904 (CreateSpace-Assigned)
ISBN-10: 1532901909
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Cemetery: Jane Rule died at the age of 76 on November 28, 2007 at her home on Galiano Island due to complications from liver cancer, refusing any treatment that would take her from the island, opting instead for the care and support that could be provided by her niece, her partner, her many Galiano friends and neighbours. The ashes of Jane Vance Rule were interred in the Galiano Island Cemetery next to those of her beloved Helen Hubbard Wolfe Sonthoff.

Address: Galiano Island, BC V0N 1P0, Canada (48.92364, -123.44147)

Place
Unobviously located near the Mt. Galiano trailhead at the island’s south end, the atmospheric graveyard is set in a pretty waterfront wood overlooking Georgeson Bay, where seals lollop about in the shallows of Collinson Reef. It’s a serene location, where the silence is broken only by unobtrusive wind chimes, rustling branches or the occasional seal bark. The graves here differ greatly, from simple burial mounds marked by humble homemade tributes to the more traditional and decorative, many bearing personal effects laid down by family and friends. Like any cemetery it offers an intimate, moving and fascinating look into the past of the community it serves, so should be considered a must-see.

Life
Who: Jane Vance Rule, CM, OBC (March 28, 1931 – November 27, 2007) and Helen Hubbard Wolfe Sonthoff (September 11, 1916 – January 3, 2000)
Jane Rule was a Canadian writer of lesbian-themed novels and non-fiction. Rule studied at Mills College in California. She graduated in 1952, moved to England for a short while and entered in a relationship with critic John Hulcoop. She taught at Concord Academy in Massachusetts where she met Helen Sonthoff and fell in love with her. Rule moved with Hulcoop to work at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, British Columbia in 1956, but Sonthoff visited her and they began to live together. Rule and Sonthoff lived together until Sonthoff’s death in 2000. Rule surprised some in the gay community by declaring herself against gay marriage, writing, "To be forced back into the heterosexual cage of coupledom is not a step forward but a step back into state-imposed definitions of relationship. With all that we have learned, we should be helping our heterosexual brothers and sisters out of their state-defined prisons, not volunteering to join them there."

Queer Places, Vol. 3.2: Retracing the Steps of LGBTQ people around the World
ISBN-13: 978-1544068435 (CreateSpace-Assigned)
ISBN-10: 1544068433
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Katharine Lee Bates was an American songwriter. She is remembered as the author of the words to the anthem "America the Beautiful". She popularized "Mrs. Santa Claus" through her poem Goody Santa Claus on a Sleigh Ride.
Born: August 12, 1859, Falmouth, Massachusetts, United States
Died: March 28, 1929, Wellesley, Massachusetts, United States
Education: Wellesley College
Wellesley High School
Lived: 16 Main St, Falmouth, MA 02540, USA (41.55466, -70.61968)
Buried: Oak Grove Cemetery, Falmouth, Barnstable County, Massachusetts, USA
Find A Grave Memorial# 1579
Genre: Praise & worship
People also search for: Samuel A. Ward, Margaret Evans Price, more

Katharine Lee Bates was an American songwriter. She is remembered as the author
of the words to the anthem America the Beautiful. She popularized "Mrs. Santa Claus" through her poem Goody Santa Claus on a Sleigh Ride (1889). In 1887, while teaching at Wellesley, Bates met fellow teacher Katharine Coman. Bates lived in Wellesley with Coman, who was a history and political economy teacher and founder of the Wellesley College School Economics department. The pair lived together for twenty-five years until Coman's death in 1915. In 1922, Bates published Yellow Clover: A Book
of Remembrance, a collection of poems written "to or about my Friend" Katharine Coman, some of which had been published in Coman's lifetime. Some describe the couple as intimate lesbian partners, citing as an example Bates' 1891 letter to Coman: "It was never very possible to leave Wellesley [for good], because so many love-anchors held me there, and it seemed least of all possible when I had just found the long-desired way to your dearest heart...Of course I want to come to you, very much as I want to come to Heaven." Others contest the use of the term lesbian to describe such a "Boston marriage".

Together from 1887 to 1915: 28 years.
Katharine Ellis Coman (November 23, 1857 - January 11, 1915)
Katharine Lee Bates (August 12, 1859 – March 28, 1929)

Days of Love: Celebrating LGBT History One Story at a Time
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School: Private, women-focused school founded in 1870 and known for its humanities programs.

Address: 106 Central St, Wellesley, MA 02481, USA (42.29357, -71.30592)
Phone: +1 781-283-1000
Website: http://www.wellesley.edu/

Place
Vida Dutton Scudder taught English literature from 1887 at Wellesley College, where she became an associate professor in 1892 and full professor in 1910. Wellesley College is a private women’s liberal-arts college in the town of Wellesley, Massachusetts, west of Boston. Founded in 1870, Wellesley is a member of the original Seven Sisters Colleges. Wellesley is the highest ranking women’s college in the U.S., and one of the top liberal arts colleges, ranking 4th by U.S. News & World Report. The school is also the highest endowed women’s college. For the 2014–15 year admissions cycle, Wellesley admitted 29% of its applicants. The college is known for allowing its students to cross-register at MIT, Babson, Brandeis, and Olin College. It is also a member of a number of exchange programs with other small colleges, including opportunities for students to study a year at Amherst, Bowdoin, Connecticut College, Dartmouth, Mt. Holyoke, Smith, Trinity, Vassar, Wesleyan, and Wheaton. Wellesley was founded by Pauline and Henry Fowle Durant, believers in educational opportunity for women. Wellesley was founded with the intention to prepare women for "great conflicts, for vast reforms in social life." Its charter was signed on March 17, 1870, by Massachusetts Governor William Claflin. The original name of the college was the Wellesley Female Seminary; its renaming to Wellesley College was approved by the Massachusetts legislature on March 7, 1873. Wellesley first opened its doors to students on September 8, 1875. The original architecture of the college consisted of one very large building, College Hall, which was approximately 150 metres (490 ft) in length and five stories in height. The architect was Hammatt Billings. From its completion in 1875 until its destruction by fire in 1914, it was both an academic building and residential building. A group of residence halls, known as the Tower Court complex, are located on top of the hill where the old College Hall once stood.

Notable queer alumni and faculty at Wellesley:
• Katharine Anthony (1877-1965), biographer best known for “The Lambs” (1945), a controversial study of the British writers Charles and Mary Lamb. She taught at Wellesley College in 1907.
• Katharine Lee Bates (1859-1929), full professor of English literature. Bates lived in Wellesley with Katharine Coman at 70 Curve St, Wellesley, MA 02482, historic home built in 1907 by Bates, while she was a professor at Wellesley College. Bates was born in Falmouth, Massachusetts, the daughter of Congregational pastor William Bates and his wife, Cornelia Frances Lee. She graduated from Wellesley High School in 1874 and from Wellesley College with a B.A. in 1880. Wellesley High School (50 Rice St, Wellesley Hills, MA 02481) is a public high school in the affluent town of Wellesley, Massachusetts, educating students on grades 9 through 12. In 2016 it was ranked the 21st best high school in Massachusetts and the 467th best public high school in the nation by U.S. News & World Report, earning a Gold Medal. The old school building was originally built as a public works project in 1938 during the Great Depression, designed by Perry Shaw and Hepburn and built by M. Spinelli and Sons Co., Inc. The building has been modified with several additions throughout its existence, most recently with a new fitness center. The 1938 building was replaced in 2012 with a brand new state of the art building in the former parking lot.
• Katharine Coman (1857-1915), history and political economy teacher and founder of the Wellesley College School Economics department.
• Florence Converse (1871-1967)
• Mary “Molly” Dewson (1874–1962), graduated as a social worker in 1897. She was senior class president and her classmates believed she might one day be elected president of the United States.
• Marion Dickerman (1890-1983), suffragist, educator, vice-principal of the Todhunter School and an intimate of Eleanor Roosevelt.
• Grace Frick (1903-1979), literary scholar and Marguerite Yourcenar’s intimate companion.
• Angelina Weld Grimké (1880–1958) attended the Boston Normal School of Gymnastics, which later developed as the Department of Hygiene of Wellesley College. After graduating, she and her father moved to Washington, D.C. to be with his brother Francis and family. In 1902, Grimké began teaching English at the Armstrong Manual Training School, a black school in the segregated system of the capitol. In 1916 she moved to a teaching position at the Dunbar High School for black students, renowned for its academic excellence, where one of her pupils was the future poet and playwright May Miller.
• Lilian Wyckoff Johnson (1864-1956), after an early education in private schools, in 1878 was sent to Dayton, Ohio to take refuge during a yellow fever outbreak; while there, she attended the Cooper Academy. Her parents then sent the 15 year old Lilian and her sister to Wellesley College in 1879, with the first two years being spent in preparatory school. However, Lilian had to return home upon the death of her mother in 1883, and was unable to complete her studies.
• Esther Lape (1881-1981), a graduate of Wellesley College, taught English at Swarthmore College in Pennsylvania, the University of Arizona, and Barnard College in New York City. Her life-partner was the scholar and lawyer, Elizabeth Fisher Read, who was Eleanor Roosevelt's personal attorney and financial advisor.
• Jeannette Augustus Marks (1875-1964), English and Theater professor at Mount Holyoke until her retirement in 1941 and Mary Emma Woolley’s companion.
• Julia Vida Dutton Scudder (1861-1954).
• Charlotte Anita Whitney (1867–1955), American women's rights activist, political activist, suffragist, and early Communist Labor Party of America and Communist Party USA organizer in California.
• Mary Emma Woolley (1863–1947), educator, peace activist and women’s suffrage supporter. She was the first female student to attend Brown University and served as the 11th President of Mount Holyoke College from 1900-1937.

Life
Who: (Julia) Vida Dutton Scudder (December 15, 1861 – October 9, 1954)
Vida Dutton Scudder was an educator, writer, and welfare activist in the social gospel movement. In 1885 she and Clara French (1863-1888) were the first American women admitted to the graduate program at Oxford, where she was influenced by York Powell and John Ruskin. While in England she was also influenced by Leo Tolstoi and by George Bernard Shaw and Fabian Socialism. Scudder and French returned to Boston in 1886. French died in 1888 (from typhoid fever, buried at Oakwood Cemetery, Syracuse, NY), and from 1919 until her death, Scudder lived with Florence Converse (1871-1967.) Converse graduated from Wellesley College in 1893 and was a member of the editorial staff of the The Churchman from 1900 to 1908, when she joined the staff of the Atlantic Monthly. In Wellesley they resided at 45 Leighton Rd, Wellesley, MA 02482. A 6000 square foot single family home with 5 bedrooms built in 1912, it was last sold in 1987 for $460,000. Scudder retired from Wellesley in 1927 and received the title of professor emeritus. She became the first dean of the Summer School of Christian Ethics in 1930 at Wellesley. In 1931 she lectured weekly at the New School for Social Research in New York. She published an autobiography, “On Journey,” in London in 1937, and a collection of essays, “The Privilege of Age,” in New York in 1939. Vida Dutton Scudder died at Wellesley, Massachusetts, on October 10, 1954. Florence Converse and Vida Dutton Scudder are buried side by side at Newton Cemetery (791 Walnut St, Newton Centre, MA 02459).

Queer Places, Vol. 1.2: Retracing the Steps of LGBTQ people around the World Authored by Elisa Rolle
ISBN-13: 978-1544066585 (CreateSpace-Assigned)
ISBN-10: 1544066589
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House: The historic home of Katharine Lee Bates, just off the village green has been lovingly restored and sparkles at the entrance to Falmouth’s downtown area.

Address: 16 Main St, Falmouth, MA 02540, USA (41.55466, -70.61968)

Place
Built in 1810
The birthplace of Katharine Lee Bates, author of "America the Beautiful," sold for $1,200,000 in 2013. Period detailing and colors bring this home to life and evoke a feeling of a bygone era with the comforts of a modern home. Step into the gracious foyer with turned staircase, original wood floors and elegant sitting rooms with fireplaces. To the rear of the first floor there is a spacious dining room with fireplace, office/bedroom and a reconstructed ell which houses the masterfully designed efficient kitchen and mud room. The second floor offers three additional bedrooms and access to a private roof top deck. Both the basement and attic rooms have been reconditioned to expose original stone, brick and timber components in excellent condition and mechanicals have all been updated. Katharine Lee Bates was born in this house in 1859, the daughter of the minister of the First Congregational Church. Her father died shortly after her birth, leaving the family in dire financial straits. Although the family moved from Falmouth when Katharine was 12, she always remembered the town fondly as “a friendly little village that practiced a neighborly socialism without having heard the term.” When she was in her sixties, she included “When Lincoln Died” in her “America the Beautiful” collection. It describes Falmouth as she remembered it as a five-year-old when the little whaling village learned of Lincoln’s assassination.

Life
Who: Katharine Lee Bates (August 12, 1859 – March 28, 1929)
Katharine Lee Bates was a songwriter. She is remembered as the author of the words to the anthem "America the Beautiful.” She popularized "Mrs. Santa Claus" through her poem “Goody Santa Claus on a Sleigh Ride” (1889.) She graduated from Wellesley High School in 1874 and from Wellesley College with a B.A. in 1880. She returned to Wellesley as an instructor, then an associate professor 1891–93 when she was awarded an M.A. and became full professor of English literature. She studied at Oxford University during 1890–91. While teaching at Wellesley, she was elected a member of the newly formed Pi Gamma Mu honor society for the social sciences because of her interest in history and politics. Bates lived in Wellesley with Katharine Coman (1857-1915), who was a history and political economy teacher and founder of the Wellesley College School Economics department. The pair lived together for twenty-five years until Coman’s death from breast cancer in 1915. In 1922, Bates published “Yellow Clover: A Book of Remembrance,” a collection of poems written "to or about my Friend" Katharine Coman, some of which had been published in Coman’s lifetime. Some describe the couple as intimate lesbian partners, citing as an example Bates’ 1891 letter to Coman: "It was never very possible to leave Wellesley [for good], because so many love-anchors held me there, and it seemed least of all possible when I had just found the long-desired way to your dearest heart... Of course I want to come to you, very much as I want to come to Heaven." Others contest the use of the term lesbian to describe such a "Boston marriage.” Bates died in Wellesley, Massachusetts, on September 28, 1929, and is buried at Oak Grove Cemetery (Falmouth, MA 02540).

Queer Places, Vol. 1.2: Retracing the Steps of LGBTQ people around the World Authored by Elisa Rolle
ISBN-13: 978-1544066585 (CreateSpace-Assigned)
ISBN-10: 1544066589
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Married: June 21, 2013

“We met online in a chat room on New Year’s Eve.” Paul was looking for a party to crash, and Dennis was looking for meaningful conversation. Intrigued by Paul's bio, Dennis struck up a conversation. “We hit it off and made arrangements to meet the following week for dinner, followed by a viewing of the movie Sordid Lives. Although it was clear that we were very different people, we immediately recognized that we shared some commonalities, including a love for Cher, Dolly Parton, and art (Paul making it, Dennis buying it!). We also had an undeniable chemistry. After that first date, we were eager to see each other again, and we continued to explore our similarities and share our differences with each other as our relationship deepened in the weeks and months ahead. To this day, we strive to support and nurture each other in our individual commitments to self-growth--both personal and professional--while intentionally seeking meaningful ways to nurture our evolving identity as a couple. As more states have legalized marriage equality, we decided that an important step in committing ourselves to one another needed to include a legal wedding ceremony in a state that recognizes same-sex marriage. We were married June 21, 2013 in Washington DC with 24 other LGBT couples in front of the US Supreme Court building.”

Together since 2006: 9 years.
Dennis Niekro (born Dec. 29, 1968) & Paul Richmond (born March 28, 1980)
Married: June 21, 2013

Days of Love: Celebrating LGBT History One Story at a Time
ISBN-13: 978-1500563325 (CreateSpace-Assigned)
ISBN-10: 1500563323
CreateSpace eStore: https://www.createspace.com/4910282
Amazon print: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1500563323/?tag=elimyrevandra-20
Amazon kindle: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MZG0VHY/?tag=elimyrevandra-20
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Find A Grave Memorial# 161934894

Peter Lake Bellinger was a composer and painter. He attended San Francisco State University and a cooking school in Paris. Bellinger worked at the Mark Twain Hotel in downtown San Francisco for twelve years, starting as a bellhop and advancing to general manager. After leaving the hotel, he went back to college to study composition. Upon receiving his HIV diagnosis, he retired and began to pursue composition, and continued to write music for over ten years. He and his partner, Joe Grubb, were together for nearly twenty-three years. Peter Bellinger, born in Honolulu, died of liver cancer in San Francisco at the age of 54 on April 18, 2001. “My aim is to entertain people, not to educate them. Above all, I believe music should be reasonably accessible." --Peter Bellinger

Together from 1978 to 2001: 23 years.
Joe Grubb
Peter Bellinger (March 28, 1947 - April 18, 2001)

Days of Love: Celebrating LGBT History One Story at a Time
ISBN-13: 978-1500563325 (CreateSpace-Assigned)
ISBN-10: 1500563323
CreateSpace eStore: https://www.createspace.com/4910282
Amazon print: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1500563323/?tag=elimyrevandra-20
Amazon kindle: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MZG0VHY/?tag=elimyrevandra-20
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Find A Grave Memorial# 161949879

Brian Shucker was an award-winning composer and lyricist who wrote the score
of Babes, a 1940s-style musical that opened in L.A. In the early 80s, at the Curtain Call Theater, Shucker met Bill Sawyer, his collaborator and companion. Sawyer wrote the book for Babes, and was in the process of completing what would have been their second full musical together when he died. Although visibly weakened, Shucker attended an audition session in March 1991 to select the cast for a production of Babes at the Matrix Theater in West Hollywood. From his hospital bed, using a portable keyboard, he rescored one of the play's pieces titled, Give It a Whirl. It was the second run for Babes in Los Angeles, and it opened on Friday, April 12, 1991, the day Shucker died. "He was never someone who would want to be the center of attention," said a longtime friend and colleague, Michael Michetti. "He always appreciated the little nuances of life. He never hits you over the head; he thought the audience was more intelligent than that.” William "Bill" Sawyer died exactly four months later, on August 12, 1991. They are listed side by side on the AIDS quilt.

Together from (around) 1980 to 1991: 11 years.
William “Bill” Sawyer (March 28, 1953 - August 12, 1991)
Brian John Shucker (May 29, 1958 - April 12, 1991)

Days of Love: Celebrating LGBT History One Story at a Time
ISBN-13: 978-1500563325 (CreateSpace-Assigned)
ISBN-10: 1500563323
CreateSpace eStore: https://www.createspace.com/4910282
Amazon print: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1500563323/?tag=elimyrevandra-20
Amazon kindle: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MZG0VHY/?tag=elimyrevandra-20

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