On Writing Nonconsensual Erotica

Feb. 23rd, 2017 09:58 am
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[personal profile] rowyn
[ Content note: this is about written kink and rape scenes. Contains nothing explicit, however.]

I was talking to a friend of mine about the distinction between "rape written to titillate" and "rape written to be unpleasant/traumatic". (I am sure this is a totally normal, everyday topic, and there is nothing weird about discussing it. At least not when one is writing BDSM erotica.)

I am in kind of a strange position on this topic. I enjoy kink, including rape fantasies, but my tastes in written erotica are finicky enough that I don't look for stuff that satisfies it.  I say "finicky" because it's not that my tastes are particularly bizarre, it's that it's hard for me to gauge what will appeal to me versus what will squick me. I have engaged in some BDSM, both online and RL, but not a great deal. So while I'm not totally hypothetical about the subject, I am nothing like an expert.

My experience, such as it is, is that there are two separate axes: "Do I, personally, find this erotic?" and "Is this designed to titillate?" I may regard something as titillating even if it doesn't appeal to me personally, and I may find something erotic even if I am fairly confident it's not intended to be.

This is not quite the same as "author intent". For example, someone can intend to write a rape scene as a horrific event, but end up writing it as erotic because that's the only way they know to describe the action involved. But I suspect it's pretty common for the way the author feels about the action to affect the way it's portrayed.

But I do have a lot of trouble articulating what exact qualities differentiate "this is not designed to titillate" from "this is".

To return to the specific issue of rape: I can easily name some examples of "non-titillating rape": Captive Prince (the first book, not the series) and Even the Wingless both contain scenes of rape, and in both cases I not only felt revulsed but felt that the scenes were written to evoke revulsion. I have a harder time naming examples of titillating rape, not because I've not read it, but because what I've read is all unpublished. Either it's stuff I wrote myself, or scenes I watched or took part in on a MUCK, or material from forums or archives I browsed many years ago. Oh, wait, I read a lot of rape in historical romance when I was a teen, except that it was supposed to be romantic so they never called it rape. The Flame and the Flower is a good example of that.

It is not as simple as "is it told from the victim's perspective or the assailant's?" or "does it emphasize the assailant's pleasure or the victim's misery?" Because a rape scene written to be erotic can still be from the victim's perspective and be about how much pain the victim is in.

I think one quality of titillation is the way the action and the victim are described: titillation will emphasize the sexiness of the body and use sensual language. Certainly some tropes are common only to erotica and porn, like the rape victim who comes to enjoy being raped. But it's hard for me to say what exactly distinguishes "this is fetishizing pain" and "this is depicting pain to make the reader feel tortured". I am put in mind of the Supreme Court justice who declined to define what he meant by "hard-core pornography": "I know it when I see it".

Anyway, I write this entire long-winded piece because I'm curious if other people share this same sense, that writing kink erotica is not a matter of what one describes as much as the way one describes it. And, if you do ... how would you describe the difference between the two?

Fanfic and its Coping Mechanisms

Feb. 23rd, 2017 11:53 am
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[personal profile] handful_ofdust
One of the amusing things I recently recognized is that "bitch" is a word whose two meanings contradict each other, which is just...Oz as fuck as a concept, really. Read one way, it implies that the person it refers to (usually female) is overly intractable, aggressive and domineering; read it the other, and the person it refers to (usually male) becomes overly passive, submissive and ineffectual--ie "Oz didn't make you a bitch, you were born that way," as Keller tells Beecher in the very first episode of Season Four, when he refuses to give up on trying to find Vern Schillinger's son Hank. I mean, Augustus Hill could probably do an entire monologue on that subject, if he wasn't dead.

All of which is by way of saying that I am now officially one episode into Season Three of my big Oz re-watch, and still enjoying it far more than I ever thought I would. The idea of ending with Season One scares me a bit, but I think I'll be able to deal with it; I still remember inviting seven or so friends from the Serial Diners over and mainlining all eight episodes in a row. This was before we even knew if it'd been renewed or what, and by the end, we were basically high on our own shell-shock, much like Beecher himself--air-guitaring his way through the riot, choking people out and dancing amongst the flaming trash-piles while Vern basically hid under his bed. Oh man, it was great.;)

Over at AO3, meanwhile, I've finally started reposting the slightly tricked-out/fixed version of "My Wife and My Dead Wife," in roughly four section-long chunks. It's getting a little bit of action but no kudos thus far, and certainly no comments; AO3 Oz fandom appears to be pretty dead overall, except for maybe two people (though of those two, at least one appears to be obsessed with the Vern/Beecher dynamic, so there's that). I'm currently fixing up Rachel Renton Schillinger's first appearance and musing over her general classic Mary Sue-ness, but I guess it really is far too late for regrets, in that area. (I was extremely chuffed when somebody on Tumblr recently acknowledged that I almost "invented" B/S longfic, though.)

Meanwhile, I keep turning the idea of a cisswap AU over in my head, because A) I can and B) the dynamics really do tweak me, especially in terms of the way they shift when you reframe things to acknowledge that all female prisoners are far more overtly victimized by the system, and know it. Guys can convince themselves they have a limited amount of power, even with somebody like Hill constantly pointing out that they really, really don't; it's such a huge part of their identity as men, this idea that they have inherent free will and agency no matter what the situation, so even when the boredom and routine conspire to bond them together, toxic patriarchy fallout will eventually cause these spasms of violence that make sure they can't stay allied long enough to do anything useful. Then again, as Guard Whittlesey points out, if they were actually capable of making truly informed, long-term decisions, they probably wouldn't have ended up in Oz in the first place.

So far, one of the single biggest changes is that a female version of Beecher would come into Oz knowing that rape was not just a possibility but a likelihood, and that it might come from almost any direction (but most predictably from the guards), which means she'd immediately start shopping around for a posse to surround herself with and going at it in a very cold-eyed way: figure out what she has to offer, what she can potentially swap for goods, services and loyalty--free legal advice on the one hand, sexual favours that won't leave her potentially knocked up on the other. (The equivalent of "we sing in the choir together" would thus probably become "she's my lawyer" for short, "...my legal consultant" for strictest accuracy.) A bit like Shirley Bellinger, therefore, though constantly showing people Paris, France wouldn't be much of an incentive in a place that's literally jam-packed with alternate pussy. And also acting crazy from the get-go, too, though kind of in a "like a fox" way; doing her level best to channel her junkie tendencies deliberately into things that aren't quite as likely to wreck her parole as snorting heroin on the sly, or getting big-ass drunk on homebrew. But since the alternatives are sex, "good deeds" and/or violence, that could still be problematic in itself...

The weird thing about a female Vern, meanwhile--as I've established with Vee Speller, the Schillinger expy I've already slipped into two short stories and a script--is that a good part of her power would probably come from being somebody's widow, the mother of somebody's kids; that last name wouldn't even be hers, which is strange to contemplate, though I very much like the idea of a back-story where a younger, punked-up version of her (probably straight out of Lardner) sees her husband-to-be preaching White Power Conspiracy Theory 101 somewhere and comes up to him afterwards with her eyes on fire, going: "Man, you just explained my entire life to me!" She'd also be far more in tune with her own motivations, especially in terms of the whole gay-'til-graduation aspect of jail, which means she'd be less likely to press on Beecher 'til she explodes, because it just isn't threatening to her to admit she's enjoying her company; the dominance aspect of things wouldn't be as much of a motivator, because she wouldn't need to alleviate her own unexpressed feelings of helplessness by making somebody else feel helpless. So they'd be more likely to be co-conspirators, not enemies.

Ah yes. The question then becoming how that sort of set-up would affect the whole Keller menage, if and when she turned up...

Anyhoo, that's part of where my head is right now, in and between everything else. Still working on the fetish piece; still doing all sorts of other stuff. On Saturday I did a reading for Women in Horror Month which was fun, and you can watch it here, if you're so inclined (https://www.periscope.tv/damnedlibrary/1gqxvqPeVWgJB?t=8m); on Sunday they broadcast a podcast interview I'd taped last Thursday, the bulk of which is here (https://soundcloud.com/whatshesaidtalk/author-gemma-files-talks-experimental-film-what-she-said-ebook-cafe). Otherwise, it's back to the grind.

Prompt for 2017-02-23

Feb. 23rd, 2017 11:24 pm
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[personal profile] sacredporn posting in [community profile] dailyprompt
Today's prompt is "dance battles".

Check-In – Day 23

Feb. 23rd, 2017 10:20 am
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[personal profile] samuraiter posting in [community profile] writethisfanfic
Blargh. Stuck at home sick (again!), but at least I can sit upright and use the laptop. What are you doing today?

— Thinking. Maybe a little, maybe a lot.
— Writing.
— Planning and / or researching.
— Editing.
— Sending things to the beta.
— Posting!
— Relaxing, taking a break, etc.
— Other stuff-ing. Look at the comment.

Question for today: Does catastrophe invariably strike when you have a deadline coming up fast?
musesfool: girl with flowers (the sweetest thing)
[personal profile] musesfool
Due to reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, I've been asked to add 7 biweekly meetings to boss1's calendar through the end of the second quarter, and as you can imagine, this is making me tear my hair out, especially for the next two weeks, which are already overbooked. This lack of understanding of the basics of space-time - that you can't be in two places at once and you can't add extra time just to fit in more meetings (I mean, they are already meeting before 9 and after 5) - is baffling to me. And extremely frustrating because after I work the scheduling magic and manage to fit everybody in somehow, they invariably decide to change things and require more rescheduling. It's stupid and exhausting.

Speaking of exhausting, they confirmed that my dad has a staph infection, the how and why of which are unknown, but nobody's uttered the terrifying term MRSA so I don't think it's that, at least. He says he feels better and wants to go home, which I guess is something. Dom is supposed to buttonhole the doctor today to get more detailed information. And the social worker has already said that he'll be sent to a rehab facility upon discharge to get him walking again. Keep your fingers crossed!

***

Wednesday reading, on a Thursday:

What I've just finished
The Cafe La Femme books by Livia Day: A Trifle Dead, The Blackmail Blend, and Drowned Vanilla, all of which I enjoyed very much (Drowned Vanilla even has ice cream recipes I might have to try!), though I really hope the whole situation with Stewart gets resolved satisfactorily (by which I mean, in a poly relationship for Tabitha, rather than her choosing one or the other guy).

What I'm reading now
I just started The Bees by Laline Paull, and I mean literally just started so I have nothing to say about it yet.

What I'm reading next
*hands*

***

interrupted!

Feb. 23rd, 2017 10:01 am
cellio: (don't panic)
[personal profile] cellio
XKCD on carrying spare phone battery to never be disconnected

I disbelieve. How is he going to maintain connectivity while changing the battery? That takes a couple minutes (including the reboot time). He needs a whole spare phone!
twistedchick: General Leia in The Force Awakens (Default)
[personal profile] twistedchick
Mexico will not take deportees dumped over the border. And it is their right to do this -- but what will happen to the thousands of people whose lives are in question? The deportation policy that ICE is enforcing is an assault on basic American values. It is about as unAmerican as it could be.

The Occupation has rescinded the access to appropriate bathrooms that Obama guaranteed for transgender people.

***

Standing Rock camp closes.

***

The five Trump administrations -- entertainment, cleanup, crazy, GOP, and essential -- and the perils of Potemkin democracy. And let's not forget poorly thought out economics.

***

The folly of abolishing the National Endowment for the Arts.

What Facebook owes to journalism -- and what it could do to support good reporting with 1% of its profits.

***

Protesters jeer at cowardly Congressmen who don't have the guts to face their constituents. And a woman whose husband is dying confronts her Congressman: “And you want to stand there with him at home, expect us to be calm, cool, and collected? Well what kind of insurance do you have?” And that was only the start.

Democratic Senators introduce legislation to stop the deportations.

The British Parliament votes no to a state visit from Trump. The vote is emphatic but nonbinding -- he can still visit, but it won't be the whole formal deal that other presidents received.

This is the page in Congress.gov for House Bill 610, which takes away free lunches from children who need them, and turns money for public schools into vouchers for private schools, as a way to destroy public education in America. Read it. Write your Congresspeople about it. Tell them to defeat it.

US libraries become sanctuary spaces, in resistance.

Intended Reading (23rd February)

Feb. 23rd, 2017 10:43 pm
ironed_orchid: "what do we want? BRAINS. When do we want it? BRAINS" (brains)
[personal profile] ironed_orchid posting in [community profile] bitesizedreading
What haven't you read yet this week?

We all have things we mean to read, but never quite find the time, whether it's a bunch of unopened tabs, or in a precarious tower of books by the bed.

What's on your to-be-read list this week?

A festival of clouds

Feb. 23rd, 2017 01:45 pm
[syndicated profile] badastronomy_feed

Posted by Phil Plait

cloud swirl over Morocco
0

NASA has released a lovely gallery of striking cloud formations. These are not your puffy everyday floating bags of water.

Horse (Non)Sense

Feb. 23rd, 2017 02:00 pm
[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Jen

Momma gave us this birthday tip
Her face stern, her hand on her hip
"When serving horse cake
"With this kind of face

"Well, sonny, don't give me no lip."

***

 

Gumdrop was gloomy and tense
Her flight was one filled with suspense

With wings on one side
No physics applied
But whoever said magic makes sense?

***

 

This pony gives no end of grief
Its texture defies all belief

Missing legs, is it now?
Should we call it a cow?
Because wow does it look like ground beef.

***

 

Ted is a unicorn with sass
His friends like to say he's a gas

The life of the party
Whenever he's farty
And rainbows shoot out of his a$$

 

Thanks to Amanda L., another Amanda, Brio G., & Sarah L. for finding everyone's next birthday cake request. Take note, bakers: Rainbow-Farting Unicorns for EVERYBODY!

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

Good candidate

Feb. 23rd, 2017 08:53 am
supergee: (thumb)
[personal profile] supergee
When the morons said that President Obama is a Muslim, Keith Ellison was one reason I wasn’t scared. Ellison for DNC Chair!

daf bit: Bava Batra 32

Feb. 23rd, 2017 08:46 am
cellio: (talmud)
[personal profile] cellio

The g'mara on today's daf discusses two cases of disputed ownership. In the first case, a man said to another: "what are you doing on my land?" The other said "I bought it from you; here's the deed of sale". The first said it's a forgery; the second then said to Rabbah "yes it's a forgery; I had a real deed and lost it". Rabbah rules in favor of the man occupying the land, saying why would he lie? He could have claimed the deed is genuine; since he instead told us this story about having had a deed, we accept his lesser claim. But R' Yosef objected, saying it's mere clay (and he's admitted it!). Rabbah wins this round.

In the second case, a man said to another: "pay me the hundred zuz you owe me; here's the bond". The second says "that's forged". The first again told Rabbah that yes it's a forgery but he had a real one before. Rabbah again says "why would he lie?". And R' Yosef again says it's mere clay. R' Yosef wins this round.

What's the difference between the two cases? R' Idi b. Amin says in the land we follow Rabbah because we say "let the land remain in its present ownership", and in the money we follow R' Yosef because we also say "let the money remain in its present ownership". It's not about land verses money; possession, according to this g'mara, determines the outcome absent proof. (32b)

(no subject)

Feb. 23rd, 2017 07:45 am
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[personal profile] sheafrotherdon
I had a meeting yesterday about something a colleague and I are trying to get done at work. Our proposal has to be vetted by a committee, and the committee declined to approve our proposal on their first try. Instead they had a lot of questions for us, so we met the chair of that committee to talk about things. The chair was not the problem - he was the bearer of bad tidings, but not himself opposed to anything - but the conversation was deeply frustrating and completely tanked my day. I've been trying to figure out why ever since.

And this morning it struck me - it's because all the questions pointed to the ways that racism and sexism are structurally embedded in the place where I work. The questions the committee had weren't simply questions, they were dog-whistles for anxieties about race and sexuality and gender that they would never in a hundred years own up to possessing. No wonder I'm so aggravated!

But at least I know, now, what we're up against, and can fight back against that in every thoughtful way my colleague and I have at our disposal.

Some people. I just. *hands*

Thursday DE: just this once...

Feb. 23rd, 2017 07:34 am
needsmoreresearch: (Default)
[personal profile] needsmoreresearch posting in [community profile] ways_back_room
What does your character get away with that they really shouldn't?

ETA: Is there anything your character doesn't get away with that you think they should?

Poem: "Best Measured in Friends"

Feb. 23rd, 2017 06:20 am
ysabetwordsmith: Damask smiling over their shoulder (polychrome)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
This poem is spillover from the February 7, 2017 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by a prompt from Anonymous on Dreamwidth. It also fills the "talk with a friend" square in my 2-1-17 Platonic card for the Valentines Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by Anthony & Shirley Barrette. It belongs to the Officer Pink thread of the Polychrome Heroics series. Note that these events take place shortly after Turq and Ansel meet, concerning one of Turq's cohort.

Warning: This poem contains some intense stuff. Highlight to read the warnings, some of which are spoilers. It features homelessness, disconnection, feelings of loss and despair, depression due to mad science torture, shame, references to computer hacking, poverty, sleep disturbances, difficulty asking for help, and other challenges. Nebuly is a mess, because everyone who survived Carl Bernhardt's attention is a mess, but he's doing a little better now. This poem captures a turning point when friends become family of choice. If these are sensitive issues for you, please consider your tastes and headspace before reading onward.

Read more... )

Belated Reading Wednesday 22/02

Feb. 23rd, 2017 12:03 pm
liv: alternating calligraphed and modern letters (letters)
[personal profile] liv
Recently read: A couple of cute things:
Ghetto Swirl by Terry Blas. A lovely comic about a nerdy, Mexican, gay, Mormon and some street kids.

In which a New Type of Dragon is revealed by [personal profile] hatam_soferet

Currently reading: A journey to the end of the millennium by AB Yehoshua. Still a bit slow, still a bit sexist, but compelling in spite of that.

Up next: I am not sure, I have a lot of things vaguely on my to-read pile, but it'll probably take me a while to finish the Yehoshua.

Faq it

Feb. 23rd, 2017 07:02 am
supergee: (coy1)
[personal profile] supergee
I am a recovering libertarian in the same way that I am a recovering drug addict: It felt good but wasn’t sustainable.

Back in the 60s there were a lot of alleged problems like gaysex, dirty books, comedians using the F-word on stage, and dope smoking that people were supposed to be arrested for. Some of us filthy hippies thought that the government should mind its own business. Then there was an Asian war for which the same solution applied, and I started wondering how much it generalized.

In the 70s Robert Nozick wrote a great book called Anarchy, State, & Utopia. I remember that after The Times reviewed it, they got an angry loc saying that the very existence of the book proved that we’re going to Hell in a handbasket because it would make it acceptable to consider politics an imposition on the life of the individual. Since that’s how I feel, I thought it was nifty. (It wasn’t quite Area Teen Is the Only Libertarian in the World, but I did feel outnumbered. And in my more lucid moments I realize that I am extreme, and I have compared my feeling about the need for politics to that of the unfortunate souls who are horrified and disgusted that the survival of the species requires that icky business with pee-pees and hoo-hahs. But as Uncle Sigmund said about paranoids in general, I am not entirely mistaken.) And he did make libertarianism academically respectable.

Nozick did not say, as some of his enemies and some of his supporters maintain, that any State intervention in the economy puts us on the road to gulags. What he said was that the more government we have, the more it controls our private lives and the more it is open to the abuses of totalitarianism, and that the tipping point is likely to come when we decide that a just distribution of everything is the state’s business (which Richard Rorty said is the defining quality of the Left). I agree.

But Nozick reratted to liberalism, and so did I. Libertarianism doesn’t work, and Scott Alexander has a thorough discussion of why it doesn’t.

Terry Pratchett Exhibition

Feb. 23rd, 2017 11:16 am
green_knight: (Fieldwork)
[personal profile] green_knight
I'm mainly posting the link here so I have a better chance of remembering it in September: I wanna go.


http://www.thebookseller.com/news/exhibition-dedicated-sir-terry-pratchett-inspires-flurry-flights-across-world-493771

(no subject)

Feb. 23rd, 2017 03:08 am
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[personal profile] bridgetmkennitt
Finished the three seasons of The Blacklist on Netflix. I'll see if season 4 is on Hulu. I should be able to finish season 1 of Supergirl on this leg of my trip because I have that downloaded from Netflix.

There are a lot of new to me movies on Netflix that I'm watching. Yay for downtime, I guess. I've also kept busy in other ways.

Third rail

Feb. 23rd, 2017 05:51 am
supergee: (smiley)
[personal profile] supergee
They used to say that Social Security was the third rail of American politics: touch it and you die. To some extent the Republicans found a form of virtual rubber gloves by suggesting that Social Security could be improved by attaching it to the ever-increasing free enterprise stock market, although for some reason that idea lost favor in 2008.

Now there’s another one. Milo Yiannopoulos, having spewed enough hatred for POC, Jews, Muslims, women, and Trans* people that decent human beings would have nothing to do with him, suddenly lost millions of others by coming out in favor of adult/teen sex (and specifically adult/teen gaysex, which presumably is even worse), saying it worked for him when he was 14. He lost a book contract and a couple of jobs, and now we’re hearing that what’s wrong with Lord Dampnut and his lovable sidekick Bannon Boy is that they have Milo cooties.

Thanx to [personal profile] twistedchick

QotD

Feb. 23rd, 2017 05:24 am
dglenn: Me in kilt and poofy shirt, facing away, playing acoustic guitar behind head (Default)
[personal profile] dglenn

"He said he had all the best words, he didn't say he knew how to use them. Maybe, when he bought them, they didn't come with instructions." -- Brautigan, Lawyers, Guns, and Money, comments [thanks to [info] realinterrobang for quoting this earlier]

[#034] Parade of Horrors (Doctor Who)

Feb. 23rd, 2017 02:01 am
cyberiad_queen: (Typewriter)
[personal profile] cyberiad_queen posting in [community profile] fandomweekly
Theme Prompt: #034: Signs and Portents
Title: 'Parade of Horrors'
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating/Warnings: PG; some disturbing concepts; some mild emotional blackmail/psychological torture
Bonus: Yes
Word Count: 546

Summary: There was nothing the Doctor could offer to the Master, to make him bring the parade of horrors to an end.

Parade of Horrors )

Just One Thing (23 February 2017)

Feb. 23rd, 2017 09:37 am
nanila: YAY (me: abby)
[personal profile] nanila posting in [community profile] awesomeers
It's challenge time!

Comment with Just One Thing you've accomplished in the last 24 hours or so. It doesn't have to be a hard thing, or even a thing that you think is particularly awesome. Just a thing that you did.

Feel free to share more than one thing if you're feeling particularly accomplished!

Extra credit: find someone in the comments and give them props for what they achieved!

Nothing is too big, too small, too strange or too cryptic. And in case you'd rather do this in private, anonymous comments are screened. I will only unscreen if you ask me to.

Go!

Oh, my heart, part 2

Feb. 23rd, 2017 08:39 am
rydra_wong: the illuminated Sarajevo haggadah (sarajevo haggadah)
[personal profile] rydra_wong
LaunchGood: Muslims Unite to Repair Jewish Cemetery

$109,794
funded of $20,000 goal


(If the name behind it sounds familiar -- yes, this is the same Linda Sarsour who was one of the Women's March on Washington organizers, among other activist accomplishments.)
the_comfortable_courtesan: image of a fan c. 1810 (Default)
[personal profile] the_comfortable_courtesan

Sir C- F- and I make very fond farewells to one another, for has been a most agreeable couple of days, and then I am bound for Lord P-'s, that sure is not an immense distance away.

Sophy remarks to me, as we are sat in the carriage, sure 'twas a very pretty place, but 'twas exceeding quiet. I confide she is us’d to the bustle of Town, and indeed in great houses there is usually a deal a-doing, a lively servants’ hall &C. She adds that she took advantage of that fine herb plot to put up some lotions and washes, they were entire agreeable to her using the stillroom.

Why, says I, I shall be giving excellent good report of you to Docket. Sophy smiles and says she wonders how Docket goes on in Weymouth. I confide, says I, that she and Biddy Smith will be promenading themselves and waxing extreme critickal over the way other ladies are dresst. Sophy giggles and agrees 'tis very like.

I look at her and think how well she has come on since joining our household. Will never be tall, but has fill’d out, and altho’ her looks cannot match those of Dorcas, that are most out of the common fine, is become a pleasing creature that I daresay already finds those that aspire to a kind glance from her.

She takes out some knitting – sure she is admirable diligent.

I open my traveling desk so that I may go scribble a little upon my novel of wreckers and sea-monsters.

But 'tis not long afore we are arriv’d at Lord P-'s fine place: and this year, I apprehend, there will be no bad poet even are there still horrid swans. I am greet’d by Lady P- that expresses great delight at seeing me, I cannot comprehend why except that it be somewhat effusive civility. She goes introduce her daughter, that looks a little sullen at being oblig’d to stand about the hall in order to greet their guests when she might be in the open air among the company.

This, she says with pride, is my daughter, Lady Rosamund, that makes her debut in the coming season.

Lady Rosamund goes make me a somewhat cursory curtesy. I daresay to one of her years I appear quite entire as already one of the fusties. Lady P- gives out a little sigh, and goes on to say that of course D- is already here, and Arthur grows a fine lusty infant.

But what is this about dear Agnes? she says. Shows an entire inclination to accept this offer from some country parson, when she might do so much better.

La, says I, is’t Mr L- you mean? Has been showing most attentive to her. Is a most not’d scholar that moves in learn’d circles, and also has a deal of interest.

Lady P- concedes a little grudging that this makes some difference, but one that might do as well as Agnes S- - seems that she throws herself away.

Why, says I, perchance he may end up a bishop or gain some other fine ecclesiastical advancement (tho’ I think neither Mr L-, nor Agnes S- on his behalf, have any such ambitions). But the prospect greatly mollyfies Lady P-.

She goes on to say that poor D- has latterly been suffering a deal with his megrim: she confides in these fine country airs he will soon improve.

And how does Lady D-?

Comes about remarkable, allows Lady P-, feeds the boy herself, entirely in health (but there is somewhat a little hesitant in how she conveys this intelligence).

(Indeed I apprehend that there is some kind of trouble with Lady D-, tho sure she seems recover’d and does not show melancholick after the fashion of Susannah after Sukey’s birth.)

I proceed to my chamber, where Sophy is already about unpacking, laying out a fine muslin that I may change into, putting out a very charming hat and my parasol. Sophy, says I, as she goes about to help me out of my traveling garb, do you have any occasion to convoke with Copping, there seems somewhat of trouble concerning Lady D-, should like to know what’s ado.

Sophy says that Copping ever shows agreeable and she dares say there will be some fine tea-drinkings while we are here.

Excellent, says I, looking at myself in the mirror and finding the sight very agreeable: sure I am a vain creature. Well, I will go mingle among the other guests.

There is a deal of company – I mind me that Lord P- takes a desire to get rid of his obligations to Society in a bunch, so that he may then return to his darling cows without distraction – including Sir H- and Lady Z-, that promenade together around the lake in a fine display of conjugal amity.

Comes up to me Agnes S-, that is looking exceeding well and happy, takes my hands and squeezes 'em and says, would be extreme gratefull might we contrive to convoke - o, indeed, all goes well, but there are one or two matters –

Why, my dear, says I, I am quite upon the qui vive to know how things go with you. Think you that did we ascend to the Temple of the Winds we might contrive a little solitude?

She looks about and says, sure there are a deal of what Em calls the fusties that I doubt would be inclin’d for the walk, also 'tis nigh upon the hour for tea that I daresay they will find more pressing than the fine views one may obtain from that vantage-point.

I laugh and say, from Lady Rosamund’s expression I fear I am now among the fusties myself, but I should be delight’d to climb up there – I apprehend that is the weather sufficiently clear one may see Wales.

Agnes S- says very pretty that even was Lady B- eighty years old she would still not be a fusty; but let us essay the walk.

As we make the climb up the winding path, she says that Lord and Lady P- go warn all very serious not to try to take a boat under the bridge, for the swans have another brood of cygnets and both mother and father will show extreme ferocious towards intruders.

We laugh somewhat, and then she says, sure one never sees anything lately of Mr W- Y-, I hope he is in health?

Why, says I, I am for some reason in a supposition that he has gone abroad. Tho’ for what purpose, whether 'twas to take the waters or to fight against tyranny -

Miss S- says 'tis far more like the former.

We come to the gazebo in the form of a temple of the winds, and we look about and observe that no-one comes up the path, and we go point out distant sights to one another, and we perceive that the company that is about the lawn and the terrace moves like unto to a flock of sheep towards the drawing-room, so we feel there is little likelyhood of interruption.

Well, says I, sitting myself down upon the marble bench that runs around the interior of the temple, how go matters with you?

O! cries Agnes S-, all comes about quite exceedingly. For I writ to Mr L- concerning my authorship and had the very finest response – has a vision of the two of us sitting in an agreeable parsonage parlour, he about his studies, me about my verses, 'tis entirely a delightfull prospect, he says.

Why, says I, that is a fine thing in him.

And my guardian wrote to him saying that I was not pennyless but had a portion – tho’ he did not say how large 'twas – and Mr L- wrote back to say, he entirely suppos’d 'twould be settl’d upon me, with he dared say provision for any children.

Indeed, says I, better and better.

But - she says, wringing her hands together – I would not say there is opposition exactly, but I am like to suppose that Lady P- was in some hopes that I would marry one that would be advantageous to their family interests –

'Tis entire likely, says I (for indeed do I consider upon it they must have had some hopes in the matter).

- altho’ Lord D- is not so much put about by Mr L-'s theology and liturgickal practice as I had suppos’d he would be, but I think approves that 'tis not an entire matter of worldly advantage

Why, says I, shows well of him.

- but, Agnes S- goes on, Dora. I cannot fathom it. Says I could make a much finer match, mentioning various fellows that I do not incline to and that do not incline to me, save for the thought of repairing their fortunes. Will say that at least 'tis not Mr O’N-, and I will not be going to Ireland, but shows very put about by the notion that I shall be quitting their household and no longer living with 'em.

Indeed 'tis curious, says I, for last year she seem’d eager to have you matcht up and marry’d, even was it not to title or antient lineage, tho’, indeed, to one that all say is like to have a fine distinguisht career –

'Twas Dora’s way, she says with a sigh, did she see a fellow but speak to me civil would be asking did I not have a notion to him. But seems entire chang’d and even as if she does not wish me marry at all.

She then sighs again and says, but – sure she will not speak plain of it, because 'tis one of the mysteries of marry’d women that she will not discourse of to me –

I snort somewhat vulgar –

- but there is something, somewhat that troubles her, that makes her nervous and unlike her wont’d self, in particular towards Lord D-, 'tis worrysome.

I take her hand and squeeze it. Perchance I may come about to find out more in the matter –

But 'tis indeed strange, Dora would ever look to me or our aunt to smooth out her way - o, she was not spoilt, or over-indulg’d, ever entire sweet-natur’d –

I say that one sees that still.

- but indeed she was very much our pet. But now – 'tis almost as if was a stranger.

My dear, says I, may be some quite foolish small matter that bothers her, do you leave it in my hands.

Primary Sources

Feb. 23rd, 2017 08:52 am
finch: (Default)
[personal profile] finch
This is not a definition of “research” I usually picture, but hey ho…

I’m a big fan of synchronicity (fan being a word that in this context means “frequent target of clue-by-fours”) and rather than dive into a lot of books, I’m in large part letting Mara take the lead on where I should be going with #domagick. It’s one of those things where it’s hard to explain what I’m seeing and where I’m going because I’m aware it’ll look faintly ridiculous.

The result, though, is that my research is asking Mara to draw me to what I need to do, and then looking at that, and repeating the process as needed. Divination, meditation and listening for that little nudge are at least a change of pace from a stack of books.

I’m working on a set of daily/weekly prayers. I revamped the dollhouse altar. I’ve done some steps to make my workspace more craft-friendly and ready to go. The spine of this project is shaping up to be daily offerings that combine wardwork, relationship-building and personal shielding. I’m hoping to add a generous helping of luckbuilding and set-point-moving. (It’s really amazing how often I run into self esteem issues in protection work. It’s as if I have to remind myself that I’m worthy of asking for things and allowed to want to do better.)

I’ll be posting about the act of prayer-writing and prayer-refining, and I’m hopeful I’ll actually end up with stuff I want to post, but we’ll see.

Oh, and I shouldn’t forget to mention: I got accepted by Pagan Bloggers! (Dear everyone else blogging there: I apologize in advance for ruining it!) I’ll be doing a blog about building tradition and householdwork under the name October Country, because I’m still a nerd.

from WordPress http://ift.tt/2lydzY3

Daily Happiness

Feb. 23rd, 2017 12:42 am
torachan: aradia from homestuck (aradia)
[personal profile] torachan
1. I posted two chapters of manga!

2. We had roast chicken, asparagus, and butternut squash soup for dinner and it was all so delicious. The soup was bought, the sort you get from the grocery store deli, but everything else was homemade. I also made a rhubarb custard pie for dessert, so it was a pretty awesome evening food-wise.

3. We took a nice walk this morning, about a mile and a half. That's the longest Carla's been able to walk in a while, and although it wore her out, she was still able to make dinner and we even took another shorter walk in the evening.

4. We got a new vacuum today. I'd had it on my Amazon wishlist for a while and then the price dropped last week, so I went ahead and ordered it. Our old vacuum wasn't totally dead, but it was getting there, and also it was super loud, which bothered the kitties and also bothered Carla, especially when she's migrainey, so we got one that's supposed to be quieter and it really is pretty quiet for a vacuum! The cats still weren't thrilled with it, but Carla said it didn't bother her at all, and it did a better job than our old one, too, so I'm pretty pleased with it. (Also it has a retractable cord, which is great!)

5. Molly's always so cute when she gets on my desk demanding pets. :)

The Big Pokemon Go Gen 2 Post.

Feb. 22nd, 2017 11:52 pm
gorgeousnerd: #GN written in the red font from my layout on a black background. (Default)
[personal profile] gorgeousnerd
Documenting my Pokemon Go progress has gotten a lot harder! I worked hard to set up a database months ago for my Pokedex/candy-tallying needs, and even with the many hours of work I put into it, it still isn't adequate to keep track of everything with simple input. I had to have a blank document outside to fully assemble my to-walk list...and even that isn't 100% right because I have to get creative to make sure I still finish the Gen 1 stuff I can/want to do.

Am I making this more complicated than I need to? Probably. Is that stopping me? No.

Let's do this. )

Who else is playing (still or again)? What have your Gen 2 exploits been like?

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