Finding Zach by Rowan Speedwell
Finding Zach is for sure one of these novels that use angst to involve people in the story, but I have to say that it has also its moment of tenderness and sweetness: in the end, the romance part is so strong that outbalance the sadness. At 15 years old Zach was in love with David, 18 years old and his best friend since they were kids. David’s parents worked for Zach’s ones, and so they were always together, David posing as guardian angel for the younger boy; and so, when teen Zach impulsively declared his love for David, everyone, from his parents, to David himself, thought he was too young and that he needs to grew and experience the world. They sent him for a summer vacation in Costa Rica and Zach was kidnapped and taken captive for 5 years, treated like a dog, leashed, collared and caged, and continuously raped by his captor. When he is rescued at 20 years old, he is broken and unable to return to his previous life, and so, when David asks to see him, Zach refuses, but not since he doesn’t love David, but since he fears to taint the memories he had of the young boy; the 20 years old Zach is no more the friendly and careless boy who was able to charm and overwhelm David, he is now bitter and scared of everything, and above all he is angry with the world.
On the other side, David has a sense of guilty big as an house; when Zach was kidnapped, David realized that he was in love with the boy, but as they both say after, probably if they were given the chance to live that teen love, they would have overgrown it. Instead their love was interrupted, and David felt as he had no closure; any relationship he had after that was a failure, since he was not able to forget the protectiveness he felt for Zach. When Zach comes back to them, he doesn’t need David, he is no more the young boy with the world in front of him and above all he seems to don’t consider David as his reference point. If David wants to go back in Zach’s life, he has to accept that the balance among them is changed: it’s not easy since David has always played the role of the lead in his relationship, and instead Zach now needs to be in control, to always have the freedom to come and go, and above all, to not feel constriction. Even in bed, David will have to give up the top position to Zach; they are lucky since, even if traumatized, or maybe right for that, Zach is a very careful bed partner, but in no way he can be the bottom.
A little warning to the reader: don’t feel discouraged from the first pages; at first the story is quite heavy angst, oppressive and apparently dark and without hope. This feeling will dissipate soon, and as I said, on the average there is more sweetness than angst; the relationship between Zach and David start almost as soon as they meet again, and even if it will be not an easy ride, it will be something they will do together.
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Finding Zach is for sure one of these novels that use angst to involve people in the story, but I have to say that it has also its moment of tenderness and sweetness: in the end, the romance part is so strong that outbalance the sadness. 
Director: Frank Oz 
Director: Frank Oz 
