The pro and cons, to be or not to be...

[reviews_and_ramblings]

When wondering why and if I have to continue with this blog, I received an email like this one:

"Greetings and respect from a gay leatherman who finds your reviews truly excellent

Dear Signora Rolle,

I wish to express my sincere thank you and my profound respect for your wonderful and discerning reviews. I use your reviews to select what M/M fiction I will like best and you never, ever let me down.

You provide a wonderful service, taking your passion for M/M fiction and sharing it primarily wih female readers but also with gay men.

I also love the beautiful male images which you have collected.

You are a wonderful person, a wonderful and expressive writer. I both admire and respect you. Thank you so very much."

I received this email weeks ago, and also in a moment when I was a bit down. Then I read it and decided there was a reason for doing what I'm doing. Then again yesterday I wondered again; maybe I should let other people doing that, other reviewers with more experience... why a straight woman should read and review gay romances? but now, when I will wonder again, I have the above letter to give me a reason to continue.

My response to Victoria Brownworth: http://elisa-rolle.livejournal.com/1108364.html

Comments

[annabirmingham.livejournal.com]

I think you do a great job! I frequently add books you review to my 'to read' list and have found some gems as a result.

You're the only reviewer I have on my friends list on LJ, and I think that says a lot :)

Anna

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Thank you Anna, is the respect from my friends, and the love I feel for you all and the books, that is a stimulo to go on.

[mondhellnacht.livejournal.com]

As someone from the LGBTGQ community, I reiterate what everyone has said so far: You are providing a wonderful service with great dignity and respect. I may not comment all the time, but I am ALWAYS reading through your Inside Reader Lists, film recommendations, and your art and event postings.

Also, the idea that you shouldn't be doing this because you're a straight woman is total rubbish. If anything you are showing more respect and understanding towards writers, readers, and publishers of this genre. Moreover, I must point out that not everyone who writes, reads, and publishes in this genre circle is actually gay. Lastly, we SHOULD be more inclusive to straight allies to counter the exclusivity of the larger heterosexual population.

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Thank you Stefan. I'm really doing this since I love to share my love for everything that is beautiful and for the love of the books. I love to talk with people, and I find a great satisfaction in this LiveJournal. No really other reason, but sometime people want to dig for other motivation that are not there.

[eevereon.livejournal.com]

Thanks, but you don't have to do that! It was just an example. But yey, more movies :D

[veggieg.livejournal.com]

I hope with all my heart that you won't ever close down this blog. Even so sometime I don't know what to comment, reading this blof is still a high part of my day after I've got home from a long,boring, tideous day at work to relax and unwired.

Please....

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

What a nice thing to know. That is another reason to coninue, helping in relax is probably almost my main motivation, and having a place where people are good, and at ease.

[mondhellnacht.livejournal.com]

Then continue with it. :-) Love is a commitment. This livejournal- like any relationship requires dedication and commitment to keep it alive and working. So when you have those down days, remember this is what you love.

[burningchaos.livejournal.com]

I know I find your reviews wonderful, I am among the many straight women who read. I only recently started reading gay romances after years of reading slash online and until I found your lj it was difficult to slog through the good, bad and ever ugly stuff out there. I for one an grateful you do this.

[jan-irving.livejournal.com]

I enjoy this blog very much. It was the first I found. I always enjoy your reviews and the sense that you enjoy the books and the authors as you get to know their particular styles.

I don't think there is another Elisa.

[elizaben.livejournal.com]

Dear Elisa,

I'm very glad I discovered your blog (via Goodreads, for the record) since you're the most enjoyable M/M romance reviewer I've read. I usually don't comment but I always read your entries and I really enjoy them. Your focus on the content enables me to discern what I am going to like from what I'm not, saving me much needed time and money.
Your writing reflects your respect towards both writer and reader and shows your love for the books, which I find very important. And the number of your readers proves that you are doing it right. You should be very proud.

Thanks for all your hard work, I really hope you'll continue it.

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm probably like, or very picky, but I manage to find and read only what I like, and avoid what I don't like ;-) If I can share my experience and help other chosing, that is the best goal for me.

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Thank you Jan. To be able to "get" the author it's probably my hidden agenda. When an author writes back to me telling I found something in their books they didn't consider, that is me doing little dance on my keyboard ;-)

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

I stopped long ago to try to do "literary" review, I'm not a literary skilled person, and I'm not able to do that. I focus on what I like, notice and want to share of the book. Sometime few things, sometime I write a poem. That is the way to understand if I liked a book.

[cornflake2912.livejournal.com]

Hugs from Germany to you :) I love all your posts. Thank you!!

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Thank YOU Steffi.

[aileenfan.livejournal.com]

I think a lot of people use read your blog before they buy a book, including myself:) Keep going :*

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Thank you Caroline, it's always the aftermath of reading those posts that make me wonder.

[elizaben.livejournal.com]

Personally, I think that's what matters. Romances can be anything quality-wise, from literary masterpieces to a poor excuse for cheap p*rn. But their quality isn't my main concern, what I like is reading a story about an interesting relationship with a happy ending. With your reviews, I can know beforehand whether I'm gonna like a book, so I don't spend money and read 150 pages in a foreign language to be disappointed.

I read the article you linked to. With that mentality, you shouldn't read about men, since you're a woman. You shouldn't read romance in general, because in them you find idealized relationships and HEA, which are extremely rare in real life.
IMO, if you want to read M/M, you're free to, and since you read them, it's natural and nice to review them. Frankly, I don't get why everyone and their second cousin feels entitled to an opinion on what we should and shouldn't read. I know that it's a long and difficult conversation the problem of literature reinforcing stereotypes, but ultimately we need to educate the public, not ban everything because someone feels offended in some way.

It's funny, in my previous comment I wanted to add that your blog actually promotes understanding towards LGBT people, but I didn't for lack of space, and now I'm sorry, because I do believe it and the positive things should be heard too. Some people reading and/or reviewing M/M may be condescending or even homophobic, but you have only ever displayed respect and understanding.

[sarahblack5.livejournal.com]

those are some truely disheartening opinions. Could I be guilty as charged? I don't know. I just want to write about things that are important to me. I want to bring characters alive and give them a voice. I don't think I should be in the equation at all- the story should be the only thing being judged.

There have been times when I wished that I could write some other genre, but for some reason, the characters I want to write about all turn out to be gay. I'm sorry I'm not a gay man! All I can say is I'm not trying to sell porn, or make a quick buck by exploiting someone else's sexuality. I just want to tell stories. That seems naive, but I'm afraid its true! I just wish I could explain to those who are circling the queer wagons that we are all so much more alike than we are different. Let's take down the walls and just be humans. Don't make me flash my rainbow ID to get in the door.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

i've felt like giving up too. who knew so many people could be so vicious?

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Yes, I try and want to respect authors and characters and the story they are telling. And also I don't think why, if I read M/M romance, and I'm not gay or lesbian, I need to be accused of having a fetish. Not that having a fetish is bad ;-) I have respect also for that!

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Your Sarah are probably the farer books from p**n I have ever read. And I agree with you, claiming we are so different that is not possible for a straight woman to write gay romance, then you are enforcing homophobic feelings.

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

we are human and words are dangerous weapons, above all when you are not feeling good. Sarah's comment it's probably the best way to explain why I should not give up, "I just wish I could explain to those who are circling the queer wagons that we are all so much more alike than we are different. Let's take down the walls and just be humans."

[sarahblack5.livejournal.com]

I think we must just keep writing, keep reading, and not take it to heart. But that is hard to do when we are so careful not to be exploitive, the very accusation!

It is so important to me to never write anything that might seem as if I am exploiting anyone for their sexuality or ethnicity or culture. And I adore your blog, by the way--I love reading about the artists and the writers, and the interviews and book recommendations. Wait a minute- now I think about it, people who love books, love to read, love stories, they all seem to love your blog! We need to bring the rest of the world into our fold by writing better and better, every book. Thank you for all you do, and don't lose heart! We're like a book club a million people strong!