Can we be really friends online?

[reviews_and_ramblings]

I think so. In the almost two years I'm online it happened sometime (four that I can remember) that something really bad happened in the life of one of my online friends.

I always am at lost in this event, what can I do? obviously you send a mail, you say I'm thinking at you, but it always seems to little to do. Above all when what happened to your friend is so similar to what happened to yourself. I lost my father to cancer and that experience will always remains with me, and when the same thing occurs to my friends, it happens to me again for a moment.

Online you have the chance to meet a lot of people, and usually you exchange happy emails in which your life seems always an happy heaven. If something bad occurs, it remains with you, or maybe to post a memo saying to your friends that you are fine, but you need time. And it's true, and it's right.

Yesterday I had a bad feeling for one of my friend online; he didn't act as usual, him that is a so kind and big heart man. So I ask around to common friends, since I unfortunately suspected what it was happening, and all my worst suspects were real. Since he was a so gentle man, he replied to my condolonce mail, and I know that he will face this event and that he will be again with us soon.

With this my post I want to let him know that I'm really thinking at him, it's not only a standard thing you say in these events. I feel for you William, you are one of the best friend I made online.

Elisa

Comments

[angelabenedetti.livejournal.com]

You can absolutely be "really" friends with someone online. [nod] I've felt incredibly close to people I've met online. Some have drifted away, just as friends sometimes do in real life, while others I'm still in contact with.

One I'm married to now; we met in an online fantasy roleplaying game and would never have gotten together if it hadn't been for that online friendship.

Online friendships are just like real life -- they can be deep or shallow, depending on the people involved and how involved the people get. :)

I hope your friend is doing okay. [hugz]

Angie

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Thanks Angela. Yes my friend is coping, and I hope he knows that many friends are thinking at him. Elisa

[snowmore.livejournal.com]

I expect your friend will be pleased to read this note for him.

I am so fortunate to have met a wonderful gaggle of good friends online. I feel so strongly for them that I consider them real life friends, as they are there for me as much if not more than the so-called other real life friends.

Making friends online follows about the same guidelines of the real life friendships: chemistry, care, compassion, love and joy. I am truly blessed no matter which way I look at it.

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

It's difficult to deal with a friend online, since it's so easy to forget that they have also a real life. But if you are really friend with them, I think that also online real life emerges and you can understand how your friends are at that moment.

Elisa

[ebony-silvers.livejournal.com]

My closest friends were made online. I've met several in real life, talked to more of them on the phone. We've gotten together, traveled to see each other, shared rooms at conventions. One of my friends stayed with me after Katrina. I know I have online friends I can call who would help me if I needed them. As someone else said, online is just like not online. Some relationships are deep and some aren't.

I'm glad you could be there for your friend.

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

I'd like to do more, but there is an ocean between us. Thanks for your words, Elisa

[laurazel.livejournal.com]

Tesoro, certo che si può essere amici online... ho i miei più cari amici online, con cui condivido gioie e dolori, passioni e problemi.
Internet è un mezzo ormai, per fare amicizie come un tempo si facevano giocando per strada da piccoli o andando al catechismo (bleah) a scuola o nei locali una volta cresciuti.
E se ti sembra di fare troppo poco per il tuo amico che soffre, sappi che il solo pensiero e comprensione ti fa essere presente e vicina nella sua vita.
Tesoro devo proprio dirtelo, mi spiace di aver saputo come hai perso tuo padre... è uno schifo questo mondo, a volte... vorrei abbracciarti forte forte...

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

La perdita di mio padre penso sia l'evento che ha cambiato tutta la mia vita. Avevo 19 anni e mio padre era l'unica persona che in qualche modo mi capiva; poteva non comprendere certe cose, ma aveva una enorme fiducia in me. Mia madre ha sempre cercato di cambiarmi perchè rispettassi quello che lei si aspettava da una figlia, ed invece mio padre cercava sempre di aiutarmi a sviluppare le mie passioni dandomi nel suo piccolo ogni sostegno possibile. Ha lottato 3 anni con il cancro, un cancro per cui i medici gli avevano diagnosticato pochi mesi di vita. E' morto in casa ed io ero con lui: gli tenevo la mano e lo imploravo di non lasciarmi: quando c'era qualcuno nella stanza, gli tenevo la mano senza parlare, ma quando ero solo continuova a mormorare "non lasciarmi". Sono stata così egoista allora, perchè mio padre stava davvero soffrendo, ma avermi là vicina gli impediva di andersene. Il suo cuore era forte ed io so che batteva per me. Alla fine mi hanno convinto ad allontanarmi, con la scusa di andare almeno in bagno a rinfrescarmi, erano due giorni che non mi allontanavo. E lui è morto subito dopo. Lo so che chi non ci ha conosciuti può pensare che tutto ciò non sia vero, o che io me lo sia costruito in mente, ma è vero, e questo è il motivo per cui, quindici anni dopo, ancora piango quando ricordo.

Mio padre aveva 54 anni. Troppo pochi. Se poi ti raccontassi la sua vita, potresti capire che proprio non se lo meritava: orfano a 15 anni di madre con un padre che lo aveva abbandonato a 3 anni, aveva lottato tutta la sua vita per costruire la famiglia che non aveva mai avuto.

La madre di William aveva 87 anni. E' logico che prima o poi dovesse lasciarlo, ma vivevano insieme in uno sperduto paese negli Stati Uniti. William sarà molto solo d'ora in poi, e per questo penso che abbia bisogno di tante persone che gli stiano vicino almeno online se non fisicamente.

Elisa

[maximvanziel.livejournal.com]

I have no information about what happened. Did he lose his mother?
In any case, I hope his friends support him and wish him get over as soon as possible however it's must be very hard.

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Yes. His mother passed away last week. He is coping, but it's very hard for him. Elisa