Note on my F-list

[reviews_and_ramblings]

I don't know if you have noticed that it's months that I don't friend people. It's a decision, I love my LJ, but I know that it can be obnoxious, and since people tend to friend back when you friend them (not always but often), I don't want to force anyone. I had a very bad experience with a person on LJ that friended me back as soon as I friended him (he was a writer and I wanted to follow his work); not only he also posted about me, to welcome him among his friends... to then defriended me after few hours. Reason? I wrote too much reviews and he was not interested... What? My LJ is entitled "My reviews and ramblings", what do you think it's about?

But if someone friends me, 99,99% of the time I friend him back. If you friend me, I hope you know what I'm like and about. And obviously, if you defriend me, I defriend you back... sorry, it's not a vengeance, it's simply that I have a very long friends list, and I prefer to read of people who read me back (or at least I hope they read me back). I have only one exception, a person I friended almost at the beginning of my life on LJ, he is a good writer, he is having some problem, and so I know he doesn't read his friends page. But then he post more or less every six months...

Other exceptions are the feeds, I have some blogs I feed, and obviously they can't friend me back. But to feed them is my choice.

At the beginning when someone I like very much defriended me, I always asked why, I hate to loose people I like. Sometime I noticed it was a general thing (journal who defriended all people), other time it was a mistake (it happened), and most of the time it was something I posted (too many pictures out of a LJ cut)... I tried to be sensible, but guys, this is my LJ, and I can't everytime think to 500 people and more. Some people don't like picture, or maybe have connection trouble, other people like them very much... I like them very much, and I'm not the only one.

So in the end, I believe that the rule, You friend me, I friend you is the best for all. If you defriend me, I don't ask, I defriend you back. I haven't anything against you, it's not a personal spite.

Comments

[ryan-field.livejournal.com]

I don't usually friend people on LJ, because I just figured out how to to do it (I'm bad with all this). So many of these things are confusing. So if I haven't friended someone on LJ, I hope they don't take it personally.

I do friend on facebook. I'm learning how to do facebook and it doesn't take much time. I'm learning twitter, too. But I did have a "friend" on facebook who recently de-friended me. He just knocked me off his list of friends for no reason. I wouldn't have known, except for the fact that I really enjoyed his facebook posts. And more than that, he was an editor I've worked with for a long time and I thought he liked me. I usually don't take it personally (I usually don't notice), but that one bothered me. And I don't even know why he de-friended me. I thought about e-mailing him and asking, but then decided not to bother.

Sorry if I vented too much. But it really does hurt feelings when someone they like takes them off a friends list. So much, for me, that I doubt I'll ever submit anything else to this editor again.

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Same here, today I was defriended by a person I really like. It hurt a lot, and I pondered if writing privately to know the reason, we are not only friend on LJ, we exchanged also private emails. He wrote to me just last day... I know why he defriended me this morning, it was due to the man candy post and the three pics out of the LJ-cut... but sincerely I don't think that is a reason enough to do that.