Note on my F-list

[reviews_and_ramblings]

I don't know if you have noticed that it's months that I don't friend people. It's a decision, I love my LJ, but I know that it can be obnoxious, and since people tend to friend back when you friend them (not always but often), I don't want to force anyone. I had a very bad experience with a person on LJ that friended me back as soon as I friended him (he was a writer and I wanted to follow his work); not only he also posted about me, to welcome him among his friends... to then defriended me after few hours. Reason? I wrote too much reviews and he was not interested... What? My LJ is entitled "My reviews and ramblings", what do you think it's about?

But if someone friends me, 99,99% of the time I friend him back. If you friend me, I hope you know what I'm like and about. And obviously, if you defriend me, I defriend you back... sorry, it's not a vengeance, it's simply that I have a very long friends list, and I prefer to read of people who read me back (or at least I hope they read me back). I have only one exception, a person I friended almost at the beginning of my life on LJ, he is a good writer, he is having some problem, and so I know he doesn't read his friends page. But then he post more or less every six months...

Other exceptions are the feeds, I have some blogs I feed, and obviously they can't friend me back. But to feed them is my choice.

At the beginning when someone I like very much defriended me, I always asked why, I hate to loose people I like. Sometime I noticed it was a general thing (journal who defriended all people), other time it was a mistake (it happened), and most of the time it was something I posted (too many pictures out of a LJ cut)... I tried to be sensible, but guys, this is my LJ, and I can't everytime think to 500 people and more. Some people don't like picture, or maybe have connection trouble, other people like them very much... I like them very much, and I'm not the only one.

So in the end, I believe that the rule, You friend me, I friend you is the best for all. If you defriend me, I don't ask, I defriend you back. I haven't anything against you, it's not a personal spite.

Comments

[kopernik.livejournal.com]

I will echo what the earlier commenter said about how livejournal really, REALLY should have discarded the "friends" thing long ago. I've long since changed the terminology inside my head and call it my reading list, not my friends list. I tweak my reading list a few times a year, depending mostly on how much time I have to devote to livejournaling. I periodically mention it in my journal, so hopefully it isn't too huge a surprise when I remove someone. On the other hand, I've been delisted by people completely out of the blue, and I can't say I will ever be blasé about it, but eventually I get distracted by some other outrage and I (mostly) move on. Everybody's taste in reading material changes over time, I guess.

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

I really think the problem was my use (or not use) of a LJ-cut... but as I said, it's a necessary loss, since I will not change my LJ. I set my limit, no more than 3 pics out of a cut, and only works safe pics... other than that, sorry, it's my LJ and I like it in this way.

I will try to adopt you philosophy and move on. Elisa