A forced farewell

[reviews_and_ramblings]

In this moment I'm wondering if people know how hurt they can do with a simple click. I lost a friend on LJ some days ago, he removed me from his friendlist without a word. As I said in a previous post, I know that my LJ can be "particular" (to be gentle) and so I tried to justify that act. But it still hurt, since I believed we were friend beyond LJ. He has my email, he could say a word before doing something like that, and instead nothing. I didn't write to him since I had done in the past, when I noticed some strange things happening, a "cold" in our emails or comments that I hadn't found before, but he said that no, nothing had changed and I thought maybe it was a language barrier.

When he removed me from his friendlist, I removed him from mine too, it's my rule, but I fed his blog... stupid me, I was thinking to at least leaving a link. Then this night he removed me from another social network, again without a word... and now I hear the message loud and clear. I removed him too, from that social network and also from the feeds of my LJ. I also removed the tag I had of him but I didn't remove the posts.

I have an idea why he did so, and this make me even more sad. I really believed him a friend. I have learned a lesson more tonight.

ETA: I also deleted my account on Twitter, the worst personal experiences I had in these last months are due to that social network. If you were friend of me there, you know where to find me, I didn't friend no one on Twitter that it was not my friend also on LJ.

Comments

[kika-k.livejournal.com]

Posso dire che il mio Lj me lo sono costruito da sola e senza l'aiuto che avevo chiesto. Per fortuna!
Ok. Quello che è successo è doloroso ma cerca di non dare più peso di quel che merita altrimenti ti arrovelli solo il cervello per qualcuno che non lo merita.

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Farà male per un po' ma poi penso passerà, ma sta pur sicura che non leggerò mai più qualcosa di suo... troppi ricordi. Elisa

Re: previous comment

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Yes, I know. It's always more difficult when you don't know the reason. I believe to know, but it's so small in comparison to what I thought we have that to me it seems impossible. But I don't find any other reason, so I will content me with that. Elisa

[kika-k.livejournal.com]

:)
Buona notte!
Io finisco di leggere una storia che ho comprato! :-P

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Notte. Buona lettura. Elisa

[mongrelheart.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, Elisa. As wonderful as the internet is, and as wonderful as the friendships that can be found there, there is always the fact that you can never truly know what the person is thinking on the other end of the connection. I'm truly sorry that he didn't value your friendship as you valued his, but that's his loss. *hugs*

[semioticwarrior.livejournal.com]

This.

I'm sorry this happened, Elisa, and that you're hurting. (big hug)

[abx-journal.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry that this happened to you. We don't speak much but I always look forward to your posts, pictures, and book reviews.

**hugs**

Andy

[jans-intentions.livejournal.com]

I've been hurt deeply sometimes by things suddenly not being what I thought with LJ. I have no theories on why these things happen. I am sorry you hurt.

[lab-jazz.livejournal.com]

Internet friendships can be very fragile and hard to maintain. When you only see words on a page and you have no facial expressions and body language hints to help you decipher the context of what's being said, it's easy to get it wrong. It doesn't help either that the other person often lives on a different continent so you can't just go and see them and fix things.

I feel sorry for you as it's obvious that you have no idea what you said or did wrong to bring this about, that suggests to me that you did nothing wrong.

I've made a few cyber friendships and I've been lucky that only one of them has gone down the gurgler, that was a very painful experience.

((hugs)) Lyn

[astridamara.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, Elisa -- you are such a sweet and generous person I hate the thought of you hurting. I know nothing I can say will make you feel better, so I'm going to send you a video which makes me laugh every single time I watch it. Maybe it will make you laugh too and feel better!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBU5H62LscA

[granamyr.livejournal.com]

That really sucks. He should at least have communicated with you.

[b-sheridan.livejournal.com]

I've had close friends I met online and felt close to who stopped communicating with no explanation. It does hurt but there isn't much we can do but wonder why.

[evila-elf.livejournal.com]

*huggles*

Any chance he got depressed with the internet and is closing off from everyone and not just you? I've seen that happen a few times.

Always sucks to lose friends on here :(

[janedavitt.livejournal.com]

Being defriended unexpectedly, without a reason, by someone fairly close can really sting. It's happened to all of us and it's like getting slapped.

But the sting fades; it's just one of those things. Be you, be happy.

::hugs::

[janedavitt.livejournal.com]

I just looked at Joule and one of the people who defriended you today has had their LJ suspended; it could be that it wasn't their choice?

[snowmore.livejournal.com]

To me, there's a fine almost invisible line between real life friendships and cyber relationships. I am very close to the friends I have met online and don't feel any difference between them and my real life friends - only that I can't see or hear my online friends.

I'm so sorry for your hurt, Elisa. I do have an opinion that he's not worth your friendship if he can't communicate why he's done this. It's not fair to you. Take care of yourself. Life will feel better soon.
*hugs*

[kennsea.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear about everything, especially in regards to Twitter. I have had nothing but good experiences with them, especially when it comes to networking with fellow authors and reviewers. But I guess I haven't experienced the dark side with the general public yet. Hope you feel better about it all, soon.

[valkovalin.livejournal.com]

Hi, Elisa, I'm so sorry to hear that this has happened! No one can blame you for feeling shocked and hurt. Most of us would feel the same way if it had happened to us. These things happen from time to time, especially over the internet, and we can never really know why. It can take a long time to just let it go and realize that you did nothing wrong. You have my sympathy, and I'm very sorry that Twitter didn't turn out to be a better experience. It's okay. Concentrate on your LiveJournal. You've done great things with it, and it's a beautiful and welcoming place to be. Best, Val

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I still think there was something more, and that maybe something changed from his side that I haven't perceived soon enough. And I'm sorry of that. Elisa

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Virtual hugs are very welcomed. Elisa

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Thank you Andy. I don't use this journal so much for personal readon, and this is the reaosn why it didn't hurt so much when he defriended me, I was thinking, we had something more other than that link. But when he defriended me a second time from another network, then I realized that it was an real break. Elisa

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

I always thought, and still think, that LJ is a more "personal" social network, a place where it's harder to find wrong things and easier to find real friends. I hope to be able to continue to think that. Elisa

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Maybe it was my time to have that bad experience. I was too lucky till now. It only hurt that it was him.

The only thing I know, is that he sometime lamented my lack of cut... and this is the reason why I accepted when he defriended me. But in the second social network there was not that reason, and defriending me also there it was a clear message. Elisa

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Yes, it makes me smile... but I will not buy it ;-) Elisa