reviews_and_ramblings | To Leave or Not To Leave?

To Leave or Not To Leave?

I have some problems. No, I have a lot of problems. As some of you know, I'm a blogger on Isn't it Romantic. Of the 9 bloggers, I'm the blogger who post more, I take update the author's biblio, the news, the awards, I contact authors for our treasure box... in other words the blog is very similar to me. And the other bloggers are not happy. They have asked to me to limitate my presence, to not post too much on specific matter: yes, they asked me not to promote much M/M romance.

I try, really. I have contacted other authors, I have posted about both M/M romance than eterosexual romance, but they continue to bother me: now they aren't happy cause I have posted on an italian yahoo group about the author's feature day of Elizabeth Hoyt. After one morning without comments, I have tried to promote her, and finally, after my message, someone has left a comment.

But the other "ladies" doesn't like the owner of that mailing list and so, now, they want to forbid for the future to post about the blog on that group!!! But the owner has nothing against me, she always says I'm welcome in her group...

So now I have to face a decision: to leave or not to leave the blog? I can begin anther blog, I just have a blog on BlogSpot... but Isn't it Romantic is my creature, I spent a lot of time on it... And italian readers seems to be happy with my works cause our numbers are growing, in this moment we have an average of over 200 visit per day with more than 600 page views...

What should I do? I ask advice, really...

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I feel for you. Cat-fights are never fun.

If they're not stepping up to the plate to post what needs to be posted, then they don't have much right to say anything. Tell them to post what they want to read. If there's many of them and they all posted something regularly, then what you promote wouldn't be that big of an issue. It only "stands out" because they're not participating.

There are people out there I don't like to deal with, but as my professional self I deal with them. If you're blogging to promot hits you advertise where you get hits. I've been trashed by sites where I still advertise, my personal dissapointment aside, I get hits from those sites. It is, ultimately, a buisness.

Yes it is also my thought, but they don't post!!! only one post per month someone even less. I have to postponed to post for days cause they continue to say "I have to post" and then nothing! And I also think that, if another site or blog, talks about me, I'm happy: they instead, think maybe that the other site has stolen a news and sometimes have asked to not mention at all our blog! A friend of mine says she is sorry for me, but has deleted the link to my blog cause another blogger has written a very acid email to her...

In a recent Poll I have made for Lee Rowan to test the Italian readers interest in M/M romance, we have received 112 votes (the poll is still open) and 62% say "very interest" 10% say "interest" and 28% say "not interest"... So the 72% of my reader are interested in what I write...

James is right: if they're not happy with the amount of non m/m content, don't they need to step up a bit and create some? Also, the 'ban them b/c we don't like them' is petty and foolish: you want traffic, or you don't.

Also, I'd mention that if I was leaving, I'd take my posts down too, and mirror post them on another blog that is yours alone.

I don't envy you this spot. I'd hate to see them bully you out.

If I take my post down, I will take the 90% of the blog... you want numbers? of 2165 post, 1865 are mine. And all the authors on the Treasure Box, less two, are my contacts. But I don't like fight. And also I don't understand: the blog goes well, the visit are growing, what they want? why they don't leave me in peace?

JEALOUSY

and, often, people want to fail (I know strange), but success is a scary thing. They also want to live in the herd and not be singled out. If one person excells, it shows them all up. It's the "let's all be mediocher together" mentality. Very common in the business world actually.

I'm like a fire and when I have something in mind... I write to the bloggers (we have a private yahoo group) that I have stop my collaboration, and then I phoned to the blog owner (that is not me, is my friend Naan): she say that I can't leave, that I can continue like I want, to hell what the others say... So I'm free to post what I want, but I don't feel this like a victory...

If the blog owner wants you to stay, and 6/7ths of what's up there is your work... believe me, if you go the blog will go down the tubes, because the ladies who'd rather boss than work will not take up the slack. Why let go of something you've put your heart into? If they don't like it, let them leave--and see if they can do better without your efforts.

You don't necessarily need to have a "victory." As my aikido teacher said, the only way to win is not to fight. Do what you love--the blog's success speaks for itself and if others want more boy-girl reviews, they can bloody well write some.

These are the exacty words of my friend Naan. Yes, I think I will continue with my works and respect the few rules we have BUT I will decide what to write or on whom. thanks, elisa

Honey, what's the point of staying? Don't let them drag you down. Move on, tell your contacts that you've got to lay fresh ground, and shed these losers. They're holding you back because your'e doing well.

I spent so much in that blog that I don't want to loose it. We will see, the owner has given me free access. I can stay or I can go, it's my decision.

Even across the world it seems that too many women act like mean little highschool girls.

I think you should do what makes you comfortable. Could you and Naan start a new blog of your own or take away the posting access of the others who don't participate but feel things should be done their way?

~Barb Sheridan

yes we could. But I don't like doing so. Now they accuse me that, when I don't like something, I say I don't want a fight. Like an excuse to not share opinions. Maybe they are right. But all this seems to me a stupid argument to engage a fight. Naan say to me: not reply, continue like you want and don't reply to them. I think I will follow her instruction.

Heck, I thought you and Naan were the only people running Isn't It Romantic!

Elisa, it's YOUR WORK, your efforts, that keep the thing running. If they can't be bothered to write reviews and organize activities, what gives them the right to tell you what to do?

I ran into a similar situation on a yahoogroup some years back--fannish--when I told people that they ought to respect the list rules about historical accuracy. The other "ladies" got their feathers in a ruffle because I actually spoke up. I told 'em the list would die if they enforced a lockdown on creativity... but they did anyway, dumped me as a moderator, and within about 6 months the only posts were auto-announcements.

Your list-ladies are not paying you a salary, are they? They've got no right to tell you what to read or what to review.

On the other hand, it probably would not hurt to review a few more m/f stories - because I think part of the appeal of m/m is that it is different. Too much of a good thing could bore your readers, and you don't want that, either.

Basically, I think what's going on is that your listladies are jealous. You're outshining them and they'd rather throw mud at you than actually earn the attention.

There's a very good bit of advice in very bad Latin that I'd like to share: Non illegitimus carborundum. The loose translation in the US: Don't let the bastards get you down!

They absolutely didn't pay me nothing. All what I did, I did cause I love it. And since in the last year I read pretty always M/M, this reflect on my opinion. But I try to not influence to much the blog. I have contacted Elizabeth Hoyt, Barbara Pierce, Jacquelyn Frank, Leigh Greenwood, Margaret Moore, Melody Thomas; they are all authors for an average reader, someone very good and very gentle. I'm open, I posted on the blog only the M/M review for the books I enjoyed very much.
And BTW, when I have said that I want to go away, one of the "ladies" has said: "What?!? we have some booked post, you have to post it...", so when they want I have to stay and work...

I agree, if they're not blogging they don't have a right to complain. You work very, very hard; you don't deserve to be treated that way.

thanks. I have read about your problem with Triskelion. Hope you will find soon another publisher. ciao, elisa

If they don't like what you're posting, then they should post more themselves. If they want you to do all the work, but for them to control what you post, find another blog -- and take your material with you. Seems to me you and Naan are doing all the work.

I suggested that to Naan, but she said that, if it is the case, are the others that should leave. So now we will see what will happens. elisa

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To Leave or Not To Leave?

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Tell 'em to put up or shut up.

Re: Tell 'em to put up or shut up.

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