reviews_and_ramblings | A forced farewell

In this moment I'm wondering if people know how hurt they can do with a simple click. I lost a friend on LJ some days ago, he removed me from his friendlist without a word. As I said in a previous post, I know that my LJ can be "particular" (to be gentle) and so I tried to justify that act. But it still hurt, since I believed we were friend beyond LJ. He has my email, he could say a word before doing something like that, and instead nothing. I didn't write to him since I had done in the past, when I noticed some strange things happening, a "cold" in our emails or comments that I hadn't found before, but he said that no, nothing had changed and I thought maybe it was a language barrier.

When he removed me from his friendlist, I removed him from mine too, it's my rule, but I fed his blog... stupid me, I was thinking to at least leaving a link. Then this night he removed me from another social network, again without a word... and now I hear the message loud and clear. I removed him too, from that social network and also from the feeds of my LJ. I also removed the tag I had of him but I didn't remove the posts.

I have an idea why he did so, and this make me even more sad. I really believed him a friend. I have learned a lesson more tonight.

ETA: I also deleted my account on Twitter, the worst personal experiences I had in these last months are due to that social network. If you were friend of me there, you know where to find me, I didn't friend no one on Twitter that it was not my friend also on LJ.

A forced farewell

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Hi, Elisa!

I've read your post late last night and I was too tired to react.

Obviously I'm sorry that you feel bad. Simillar things happen in the online world, some people think that to be ''virtually'' rude is allowed.

Now I'm glad to see that you got so many reactions so that you notice once more how much you and your work are appreciated.

But I especially wanted to tell you about my first *panic* reaction: I read the post's title and at first I tought you were talking about yourself, that you were thinking about not writing for a while. That would have been a loss! In fact I was relieved when I noticed that it was something completely different.

Enjoy the rest of your Sunday!

Best Wishes!

Antonella

Thank you Antonella. Today is a little better, but not so much. Maybe I hoped in an hint, and it is not arrived. Well, I think I have to really let him go. Elisa

I'm really sorry for what happened to you and hope that you'll get it over very soon.

I've been thinking how to comment to your posts on this subject. To tell the truth, I can understand the person somehow(I have no idea who he is). Defriending without explanation was what he could, might be for your own good.
You've got so many clues and insist that can't understand yet?

If my comment offends you, you can defriend me. You might not be hurt so badly even if I defriend you without a message. Or, am I wrong?

Truth be told, I don't understand if you are talking for ipothesis or if you are saying something true. About me having so many clues, I thought I had, and I wrote to him to ask if I was right, and he said no, I was paranoic, so, what I believe a possible reason he said no. When he defriended me, I thought it was for posting too much, and he didn't like what I post, and so, I thought, all right, I can understand that. But defriending me from another social network proved that it was no that the reason. So no, I have no clue left.

And I will never defriend someone since he commented on my LJ, I will ask explanation if that comment was rude, or I didn't understand it. Till this moment I have never defriended someone by my choice, I always defriended people who defriended me first.

Elisa

I thought it was for posting too much, and he didn't like what I post

It's not the subject of your posting too much or what you post. It's "how you post" them.
I know that you've been hurt deeply, but he must have felt uneasy or worse as far as he is not insane. He is just honest to his own emotion.

You believe that your journal has no relation with another social network, but your journal is the mirror of yourself. So he might take it as a part of your personality.
I'm not going to take his side. Only want to see the issue objectively. You've got enough words of sympathy and support from other friends, so there must be someone who see things from different pov.

Until now I've defriended people twice without an explanation.

Trying to explain it's difficult. Let only say that "how I post" is not reason enough, since he still has in his flist people who post things even more uneasy than mine (and I'm talking of lot and lot of picture of naked man, without cut, in plain sight), and apparently for them the parameter is different. I have never posted full nudity out of a cut. And even under a cut, I always try to post something with a reason, I don't do meat marked. Elisa

since he still has in his flist people who post things even more uneasy than mine

All right, you explained me now about it.
Since I don't know about the person and his friends, I can't guess their standards.
Weird. Why are you clinging to the nudity of the pictures you've posted? Did he blame you for that? I didn't mention about it in my previous comment.

Are you upset because you think that you've been thrown out of his groupies' list (supposed that he regards so). Then, he is such a person who don't respect you, what are you worrying about? Will you be satisfied if someone says how he is insane or one of his female friends were so jealous that convinced him to defriend you?

Listen Elisa, only one more thing. Everybody has his own feeling. I'm trying to be reasonable and kind.

Good night.

No, but he defriended me soon after I posted 3 pictures out of a cut, and the pictures where of male, so I can only guess.

And now I feel like I offended you somehow, I was only trying to explain. It's so hard to understand that I had feeling for that person beyond a mere online link, and what he did make me feel bad?

But good night.

Elisa

*HUGS*

That's all, honey. Just *HUGS*

~Tis

Thank you, hugs very much needed. Elisa

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. * hugs *

Thank you. Elisa

Of all the things that get to me on the Internet, it's getting a notification that xxx has removed you from their friends list, and not knowing why. It's not like I post that much, so if the person isn't using filters to read their flist, I'm not spamming them or anything. I use LJ cuts. I mark any RL posts as such so if the person is there to read fics, they can just go on by.

I'm sorry this happened to you. I love reading your posts. You've added so much to my life. You certainly deserve better.

Do you know what? That same person that removed me, last day posted on how he found something new on the publishing market, since he "periodically" browses the net... the strange coincedence is that he posted the morning after I posted a review of book where I stated the same exact thing. So I have the right suspect that he continued to read me, only that, for a reason or another, he doesn't want to let people know that he does. Elisa

First, I apologize for replying to an old entry, but I was browsing through your journal and I found it and the same thing had happened to me. I used to communicate with an (amateur) author (from FictionPress) for *months*. We exchanged emails every two days, sometimes every day, and I even helped her with some of the stories she wrote and published. But then one day, she just stopped writing! No warnings, no explanations, nothing. And the worst is that she began to post a new story, so I knew she was still active online. It hurt. So I totally understand what you went through, and I'm sorry it happened to you. *hugs*

Thank you. Yes it's the sudden lack of someone you used to hear at least every one/two day that is more painful. But I realize that probably I gave my friendship to someone who didn't deserve it. Elisa

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