Yes, this is me having a temper tantrum

[reviews_and_ramblings]

I'm reposting only the closing sentence of a mail I sent to someone just minutes ago. No name, not preface, the recipient knows all and this is the only thing that counts.

"I don't deserve to be also the recipient of the bad mood caused by other. I don't need it, above all not in this moment. I'm tired to loose people I believed were friends, too many people are teaching me that I have no friends out there."

And now I know that many of you are friends, that you all are out there looking for me, that I have not to worry when something like that happens, that it's normal to remove a friend on LJ. BUT FOR ME IT'S NOT. If you are a common friend, someone who comments once every six months, who came to me since I write review, and then decides you don't like them no more, you can go, and I have no problem.

But if you are someone who called me sister, who claimed to be my friend, who was always ready to give me a good word when I was down, when you have my private email, HOW YOU CAN DELETE me from your friend list without even telling me goodbye, how can I receive that cold message "xxx removed you from their Friends list"? HOW?

I DON'T DESERVE THAT. Not ever, but above all not now, not today, not this week. BTW THANK YOU for chosing the worst week in the year, for doing that. Perfect timing "friend".

Comments

[raynedanser.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm sorry hon.

Friend

[pabrown.livejournal.com]

That's pretty damn cold, Elisa. Don't be down, know there are lots of true friends here. I certainly hope you're not letting this get in the way of your getting well from your surgery.

[minami77.livejournal.com]

mi spiace Elisa, soprattutto visto che dal poco che ho letto non stai ancora bene.
Per il poco che conta ti mando un abbraccio ()

[snowmore.livejournal.com]

Just as in real life, anyone attached to you on the Net as a friend should be courteous if they wish to end the friendship.

Whoever this person is shows immaturity and an inability to communicate on a grown up level.

You'll be angry and sad for a time, but you will let it go because you are a good person and you deserve better treatment.

Take care.

*hugs*

[jan-irving.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. It hurts and I don't understand it myself. You do seem to have a lot of people who genuinely care for you.

[shadownyc.livejournal.com]

You definitely don't deserve that! *HUGS*

[lab-jazz.livejournal.com]

I’m sorry for you Elisa and I feel sure that you did nothing to deserve this happening to you, unfortunately that is the nature of the Internet where people can just discard you with words on a screen and not have to look you in the eye as they push their dagger in.


Many hugs in sympathy from Lyn

[lee-rowan.livejournal.com]

Even if it was just a case of someone losing interest in reading your LJ... a bit of warning would have been polite.

I reduced my flist awhile back mostly to cut down on distraction, and I've been dropped from others' lists for similar reasons, so to me it isn't a big deal one way or another, but a couple of folks were distressed, so I posted an explanation. I wish there were a way to stop watching someone's posts without necessarily 'defriending' them.

Get better, don't worry... internet friendship can be wonderful, or it can be abused. You have so many people on your f-list that a certain percentage are bound to be disappointing.

[joannesopercook.livejournal.com]

I am SO SORRY this happened. I know exactly how you feel - I've been defriended without warning and had so-called "friends" simply drift away and not bother with me anymore. It really, really hurts.

I had someone on my flist and in my life with whom I was (I thought) very close. She decided to start a family and, once she became pregnant I began to hear from her only sporadically. (We used to email, IM, etc., every single day.)

Now I hardly hear from her at all. I'm childfree but I am happy for her and sent her a baby gift, yet she can't seem to find thirty seconds to write an email. It really hurts.

I am so sorry this happened to you, when everything else is going on right now. Please know it has nothing to do with you - it's their problem. I know that is cold comfort, but there are many of us out here in cyberia who think you're pretty nifty. *hugs* :)

[lilygcs.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry that happened. Unfortunately not everyone follows common courtesy/decency, especially on the 'net.

*hugs*

[kirby-crow.livejournal.com]

People Suck. Period. *hugs a lot* But you are awesome, and we all know it. :)

[samcdermott65.livejournal.com]

I can sympathize as I've had something similar happen to me. It's very upsetting. I know I wondered if it was a mistake or purposely done. Eventually the rawness of it lessens. Sorry you had to go through it though.

[eroticjames.livejournal.com]

That sucks. Truly does.

[furriboots.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry, Elisa. I have had this happen to me several times without any warning and I think it is impossible not to take it personally.

I think you deserve better. Oh by the way, I loved the post that you did on Max Ginsberg. His covers were so beautiful that I couldn't resist looking him up on the internet and ended up making a batch of icons from his pictures. I posted them tonight.

[avamarch.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, Elisa. It truly hurts when you find out someone you thought was a friend, really wasn't a friend. Just know that you do have lots of real friends out there. ((big hugs))

[muroku.livejournal.com]

Dear Elisa, I know in the past you posted about other issues in the internet community concerning book reviews and authors. Even in more "serious" internet relationships people still behave like this. I think you have to turn this negative situation into something positive. Atleast you don't have to waste more of your time on this person who doesn't deserve to have you as a friend.

[cowboygal.livejournal.com]

:( As one of my students says "Me not likey!"
You ROCK!
Hugs to you and good riddance to stupid people!

[tc-blue.livejournal.com]

Oh, honey. *hugs*

I'm so sorry that such a thing happened at all, and especially now.

It's callous and cruel on this person's part, yes, but I fell comfortable in saying that the rest of us -- close and less close to you -- really DO value you as a friend and as a person.

In the words of... someone... "This, too, shall pass." And in the meantime, I can promise you that I've no intention of defriending you. In fact, if you ever do receive an email saying I've done that, you must assume it's an LJ glitch, rather than anything deliberate.

I hope you're healing, physically, and hope the emotional scars of this recent and unfortunate event will pass quickly.

Just know... the rest of us are here. *hugs*

~Tis

[ashmedai.livejournal.com]

I've had that happen to me twice since the year started. I remove the people who do that, too, and don't run after them, but if it was someone who called themselves a friend, it's depressing. I'm sorry that happened to you, especially now when you can least use it.

*hugs*

[marame.livejournal.com]

Aww, I'm sorry that happened to you. It's ok to mourn the loss of your former "friend," but know that you have countless others in the world. The sun will come out tomorrow.

[yachay.livejournal.com]

I remember you mentioning before, that you hate when people defriend you without giving a reason. That they don't even bother to say goodbye.
And if I, who probably comments about twice a year or less (and I am truly sorry about that. I just rarely have anything worth saying in mind), can remember something like this, then someone who acted like a true friend should as well.
And the time they chose to do this, really shows that you were deceived. Sorry to put it so bluntly.

I honestly wish that this will do it, that there won't be any more reasonless defriendings for you.

And even though you have no problem with me defriending you, I promise, that if it ever comes down to it, I will give you a long message,telling you why. Though if this ever happens, my only reason would most likely be, that I am leaving LJ for good. Which seems unlikely as of now.

Take care, and hopefully feel better soon. :)

[kika-k.livejournal.com]

Mi spiace Elisa!
Hai ragione nel dire che poteva essere 'gestita' un pochino meglio la situazione. Certamente non è un vero amica/o!

*abbraccio forte*

[alex-beecroft.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. It seems inexplicable that someone who was that close to you would suddenly walk away without warning. How baffling and hurtful.

*Hugs*

[vashtan.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Not knowing the context, but that seems pretty damn callous. On the other hand, some people don't deal well with "confrontation", hence go for avoidant behaviour like that. To me, its reads like a sign of being overwhelmed and weak rather than cruel.

I hope you're recovering well.

[a-j-mirag.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know, it's so sad when things like that happens.

*hugs*

[sidhe-woman.livejournal.com]

That is a cruel thing to happen, especially when you are feeling vulnerable. I am in agreement with all the comments you've had so I won't repeat them - I'll just say I'm sending you good vibes and virtual hugs. Your reviews and contributions are very welcome and enjoyable, even if I don't comment as often as I should!

[erah-haruna205.livejournal.com]

i had the same experience too few years ago. i was both shocked at Lj for "informing" me of this and shocked at that 'person' as to why she un-friend me T____T

please cheer up, Elisa. its been a rotten week for the both of us.