Late night considerations... you should never do that instead of sleep...

[reviews_and_ramblings]

I received an email some days ago from an author I reviewed. I will not say the name, enough to say that it's a pretty big author, one of the few who managed to see its books out with one of the big NY publishers. It was a kind letter and among other things there was this phrase: "You're going great work to help make the LGBT genre become more mainstream than it's been in the past". First time I read it, I was pleased, probably my friends know that I'm very proud of my LiveJournal, but after a bit it made me think: am I really doing a favor to the genre, or instead I'm unwillingly putting it in a "fenced" reserve? Maybe the genre is already become mainstream and my LJ takes it reined.
 
I realized that it's more than 2 years that I don't read anything else as fiction if not gay romance or gay novels, I said to myself that I find everything I want in the genre without looking anywhere else, but the real reason is that I have no time to read anything else. At today I have 804 unread books in my reading folder and they are all gay fiction. When I was in Philadelphia I went inside Giovanni's Room with a list of 6 books I wanted, I was very strict in choosing them, only 6 Elisa, no more than that, I said to myself before entering: they had only 2 of the books I was searching and I ended up buying other 4 I had not in mind to buy (at least in the end I bought only 6, pity that now I have still to buy the other 4!). My almost everyday email, if not more than one at day, is to an author saying sorry if I haven't still read your book, and it's not a poor excuse since I didn't like the book, I haven't really had time to.

Two years ago there were few sites reviewing gay romance (even if I bet there were a lot of women who read them), now it's no more like that. There are out there good review sites, with a variety of experience that help them being objective and comprehensive. Two years ago it would have been a dream to have plenty of choice in reading material, multiple publishers with more than one title per week, not it's reality. Maybe it's time I take a step back, when I started this LJ I had absolutely no reason other than finding a place where I could talk free without questioning everyday on why, when and what I posted, it was my space and I was free to do as I like. It's changed and I changed with it. I don't know, I need to reconsider something; I found new wonderful friends but I lost some that were important to me. I'm not saying that I will stop reading or posting, but I feel like I need to take a decision, only that in this moment I don't know what it's. If two years ago someone questioned me or my posts, I was free to say, hey, this is my place, I can do what I like... now I'm no more sure to have such freedom.

I'm happy, I'm really happy for all the authors out there, it's a wonderful moment for all of you, women and men (and don't let some "odd" new rule questioning the ability of a woman to write a gay novel... and that is my opinion on the matter if someone was wondering; men and women have a different approach to the romance genre, but both of them are worthy to be read), but I'm also scared that I'm not up to the challenge.

Comments

[sedonia-guillon.livejournal.com]

Elisa - You have done absolutely nothing to hurt this genre! If anything, you've been one of the main, most enthusiastic and generous supporters who's helped M/M erotic romance get more attention.

M/M erotic romance is nowhere near being as widely published as mainstream het romance despite the popularity of it with e-book readers and the larger number of print titles being put out. The fact that you do all these reviews and love this gnere with your heart can only help it. As far as I am concerned, you can put that one to rest. Hugs, Sedonia

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Thank you Sedonia. I believe that sometime my enthusiasm is more a burden for some people than a good thing, since I embark in things I can't follow how I'd like to do. As I said, I need to reconsider something, but I don't think I will stop to read. Elisa

[semioticwarrior.livejournal.com]

I think you do a great service to the genre, and especially to authors. I like that you review books (and films and artwork) by both men and women, and that you don't turn up your nose at e-presses and smaller publishing houses--they're all treated equally here.

One person can only do so much. I think that you should continue to review what you read and like. I've bought a number of books based on your reviews, and have come to trust your taste, because it's similar to my own. You're very honest and up front when you say that a book isn't really your thing, but someone else with different tastes might like it.

Keep up what you're doing! You're doing a wonderful thing!

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Yes, I try to be equal to different publishers, authors, men and women, basically it's not important for me. Yes, probably I should continue to read at my pace with my usual criteria of choice. Elisa

[tamara-allen.livejournal.com]

I agree with semioticwarrior. You are an indispensable mainstay of this community. I hope you will not quit writing reviews. I would miss them.

But I do hope you will not feel pressured by anyone to write reviews faster or in more abundance. I think you already read and review with marvelous efficiency. That you enjoy doing it is the most important thing. Don't let anyone turn it into a chore for you.

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Thank you Mara, that's exactly the point. I read since I enjoy it, and not since it's a chore. I continue to say, I'm not a reviewer, I'm a reader. And yes, I probably shouldn't let other people opinion put in question this essential point for me. Elisa

Late Night Considerations

[arl215.livejournal.com]

I think your wonderful and the best reviewer of gay fiction on the internet. Please keep on doing what you do.

Re: Late Night Considerations

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Thank you and color me blushing... the best reviewer maybe not, but it's a nice thing for you to say. Elisa

[jans-intentions.livejournal.com]

I am friended to two people who review books so when you post, I read both of you (she only posts rarely) but I've found as a new reader this is a wonderful thing since I never feel I'm being told what is good or bad, but given reflections of a story.

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Thank you Janice. Yes, I try to not being judgemental, but to pass my feelings on the story. Elisa

[yachay.livejournal.com]

There are lot of readers of the genre, but only few who really take the time to introduce the story to new possible readers, who review the books and make sure the author will be known by others. And you don't limit your LJ to reviews, you also make us understand that the story is not only a story. There are people behind them. You make sure we recognize the artists behind the covers, and so much more.

I know that since your LJ is so organized, and you have specific days for specific topics, it does seem to limit your freedom a bit. We all have gotten used to this, and some might be upset if suddenly the days would be mixed up or you would drop something off. And since your LJ is so well-known and popular, you probably don't feel like sharing much personal stuff in here. Which is a shame because I am sure some of us would be more than willing to get to know you better.

I know how frustrating it can be, when you feel like you have no time to anything else than gay novels, and when "normal" books have been forgotten. I actually became depressed, when I noticed that instead of enjoying my regular dose of poetry and classics, I only read gay novels after gay novels. Even though they are my great love, I don't want to limit myself to these only, like some of my friends have done. Therefore I made myself rules. Now I limit my time on gay novels, and try to read only a certain amount in a week. That leaves me enough time to read something else as well, if I feel like it.

Uh, I think I lost my point somewhere along the way.

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Thank you Yachay. It could be strange, but in a way my weekly appointments are both a freedom than a cage. I planned them so I know that in that day I "could" post on artist, or model, or movie, and people will be not disappointed, both for finding it or not finding it... mmm, I was cryptic. Elisa

[lee-rowan.livejournal.com]

What you're doing is terrific. No one person can be everything to everybody--but no two reviewers see any book the same way.

Your blog has been unique and fun, and I hope you don't change it due to what you think may be expectations from other people. It is your column, and I think you can, and should, keep on doing what interests you. I've found out about books and films I never would have investigated if you hadn't posted about them... Keep doing what you enjoy, please. Your enthusiasm is part of what makes your reviews so interesting.

Do what's going to work for you. I really hope that does NOT mean dropping this journal, but I'd enjoy your photography even if you didn't write reviews at all.

And this may seem like an obvious question, but -- you've done a lot for us, is there anything I can do for you?

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Oh thank you Lee. And no, there is nothing I need in this moment, if not probably for what you already did, your words are kind and comforting. And even if I love my photos, I certainly am not thinking to turn this LJ in a window for them. I like them, but one day a week (and two weeks a year) are enough for me to bother you all with them. Elisa

[certainlysandy.livejournal.com]

I love your reviews. I first found them on Amazon.com and was tickled to find you on Live Journal. I base what I buy on what you have to say. I, too, read only gay (m/m) fiction. There's not enough hours in the day (or night) to read all I have and all I want. Thank you for what you do.

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Thank you Sandy. I realize that I can read only a certain amount of hours in a day, and they are not enough to read all. That is the problem, I'm sure there are good authors and books out there I haven't had the time to read. Elisa

[vashtan.livejournal.com]

Hope you're not worrying about *me* getting anxious about getting reviwed. :) You're working so hard, allow yourself some rest and distance when you need it. No pressure. Reading's supposed to be fun.

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Also you, but not only you Alex ;-) Above all when it's a new book from an author I know, even only from the internet, I always worry, since I'd like to be up and in time. My only consolation in your case is that I saw that you have already received some nice reviews, and so I know that mine will be only a nice addendum ;-) But this doesn't mean that I will not read it, be sure. I'm slowly arriving to it, one thing I'm forcing me to do, is to have a reading plan, and to try to respect it as much as possible. Elisa

[vashtan.livejournal.com]

Make sure you relax every now and then and do something spontaneous (I couldn't follow a reading plan, I'm too whimsical). While I'm trawling for reviews, I'm also writing more, so every review refers to somerthing I did months or even years ago. Very VERY nice to have, but my focus is always on the ball I'm currently playing.

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Good to know! Elisa

[cerisaye.livejournal.com]

I got to a similar point a while ago and took a step back from rreading/reviewing gay fic, in my case more because it had become a bit of a chore and not so much a pleasure any more, and the ever-growing To Read pile became too daunting.

I agree, there are so many more outlets now for GLBT reviews/recs than a couple of years ago, which is heartening. I worry, too, about 'ghetto-isation', but I think it is less likely now gay fic has become more mainstream. I worry there's a bandwagon effect at work, that gay romance has been taken up as a flavour-of-the-moment by publishers and will be dropped again when something else comes along. I remember the hopes we had of mainstream cinema post-Brokeback, and looked what happened (or rather didn't) there.

Now I don't only read gay-themed books and I write reviews only when I feel like I want to, which lately isn't often I admit. It got to the point when I read a book I was writing the review in my head at the same time, to the detriment of simple reading pleasure.

Sorry this is a rambling response. What I really intended to say was your journal has done good work and you should feel free to continue, or not, however you choose without feeling pressured, whether from writers or readers.

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

I believe I'm more or less in your same situation. I feel the pressure and I'm loosing the joy to read. I probably have to be more detached, and to start read again for my pleasure, maybe without a planning as I'm doing now. Thank you for the kind words and for letting me know that I was not alone with this feeling. Elisa

[smuffster.livejournal.com]

Honestly, I think you do a fabulous job. There's a reason I don't read other review sites. Mostly the reviewers tend to be overly critical and not very helpful. I always think you manage to give a good balance, summing up what the story is actually about and giving an opinion on the story itself.

As for whether lgbt romance is becoming more mainstream or not. Well Borders is the only book shop aside from specialty stores that even stocks them, and even then you have to hunt around and to find the one small row of lgbt books, whereas "straight" romance have shelves and shelves of books.

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

I believe the situation is better online than in the bookstore. Actually people who live outside USA in a way have an easier life, since they HAVE to buy online, and so they go directly to the source. If you live in the USA, you would like, or want, to buy the books in a bookstore, but this is practically impossible if you don't live in those cities with a LGBT bookstore. Elisa

[smuffster.livejournal.com]

Oh, online it's a totally different situation. I agree that there's much more acceptance of lgbt novels. For me I just find it frustrating that lgbt books get an almost token inclusion at places like Borders. Maybe bookshops in the US have a better range. Or it could be a location thing. I know the major DVD shop in Australia has a small selection of gay cinema, but when I went to the Sydney store they had a much bigger range than Melbourne. Perhaps Borders in Sydney has a bigger range of books as well.

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

I went to Barnes & Nobles in Washington, and they have a shelf (not a bookcase, only a shelf) for Gay Fiction (of all genres). When I ask to the customer service, they noticed that all the books I was searching were available on their website, but they didn't have any in storage. And it was a two very big floor store. Elisa

[smuffster.livejournal.com]

Yeah, our local Borders is the same. There's like 6 full bookcases of romance, and then hidden away on one shelf next to the literary criticism books is a small row of lgbt books.

Borders isn't even the biggest book chain in Australia, but I'm pretty sure it's the only place that is not a speciality shop that stocks them at all.

The thing I always remember is the day I went to buy Shelter at the big DVD shop and not only did they not have the movie, but they had put all the gay cinema under the heading "adult", so you had all the beautiful dramas and romantic comedies mixed in amongst the het porn.

[egret17.livejournal.com]

I think you're doing good things for the genre! You and Jenre (Well Read) are the two people I rely on most for m/m recommendations. I always smile when I add a new m/m to my LibraryThing, because it's rare indeed that you don't already have it! :)

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

That's the problem! I add to many books I have no the time to read. But it's like a drug, I want a sample of all of them, but I can eat all only few. Elisa

[egret17.livejournal.com]

Oh, how I can relate to that! At least with ebooks, the unread ones just lurk quietly and don't take up space. My physical TBR piles weigh me down far more than do the virtual.

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Oh I have a little pile also of print books, but since they are so difficult to buy from Italy, it's a pile I can manage ;-) Elisa

[leeteng.livejournal.com]

Elisa, do what you enjoy. Life is too short to worry about what someone else think. This is your journal and it is a great journal. I have been reading only M/M or gay books for more than 5 years now and still enjoying it. Your journal is a great help to me. But like I say do what you enjoy!

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Thank you Lee. As I said, I need to reconsider something, but probably it's only a moment, and I hope it will pass soon. Elisa