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I received an email some days ago from an author I reviewed. I will not say the name, enough to say that it's a pretty big author, one of the few who managed to see its books out with one of the big NY publishers. It was a kind letter and among other things there was this phrase: "You're going great work to help make the LGBT genre become more mainstream than it's been in the past". First time I read it, I was pleased, probably my friends know that I'm very proud of my LiveJournal, but after a bit it made me think: am I really doing a favor to the genre, or instead I'm unwillingly putting it in a "fenced" reserve? Maybe the genre is already become mainstream and my LJ takes it reined.
 
I realized that it's more than 2 years that I don't read anything else as fiction if not gay romance or gay novels, I said to myself that I find everything I want in the genre without looking anywhere else, but the real reason is that I have no time to read anything else. At today I have 804 unread books in my reading folder and they are all gay fiction. When I was in Philadelphia I went inside Giovanni's Room with a list of 6 books I wanted, I was very strict in choosing them, only 6 Elisa, no more than that, I said to myself before entering: they had only 2 of the books I was searching and I ended up buying other 4 I had not in mind to buy (at least in the end I bought only 6, pity that now I have still to buy the other 4!). My almost everyday email, if not more than one at day, is to an author saying sorry if I haven't still read your book, and it's not a poor excuse since I didn't like the book, I haven't really had time to.

Two years ago there were few sites reviewing gay romance (even if I bet there were a lot of women who read them), now it's no more like that. There are out there good review sites, with a variety of experience that help them being objective and comprehensive. Two years ago it would have been a dream to have plenty of choice in reading material, multiple publishers with more than one title per week, not it's reality. Maybe it's time I take a step back, when I started this LJ I had absolutely no reason other than finding a place where I could talk free without questioning everyday on why, when and what I posted, it was my space and I was free to do as I like. It's changed and I changed with it. I don't know, I need to reconsider something; I found new wonderful friends but I lost some that were important to me. I'm not saying that I will stop reading or posting, but I feel like I need to take a decision, only that in this moment I don't know what it's. If two years ago someone questioned me or my posts, I was free to say, hey, this is my place, I can do what I like... now I'm no more sure to have such freedom.

I'm happy, I'm really happy for all the authors out there, it's a wonderful moment for all of you, women and men (and don't let some "odd" new rule questioning the ability of a woman to write a gay novel... and that is my opinion on the matter if someone was wondering; men and women have a different approach to the romance genre, but both of them are worthy to be read), but I'm also scared that I'm not up to the challenge.

Date: 2009-09-25 07:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elisa-rolle.livejournal.com
Thank you. Yes, I try to be equal to different publishers, authors, men and women, basically it's not important for me. Yes, probably I should continue to read at my pace with my usual criteria of choice. Elisa

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